He was the perfect guy until I saw his dark side

He was the perfect guy until I saw his dark side

I’m 39, a mum and I recently finished a relationship with a man (also a dad) I was seeing for over a year. We were both out of long-term relationships when we met and had a lot in common, so we fell pretty hard for each other. For the first time in years I felt I’d met a man I could trust, who loved me unconditionally. He wrote me pages of love letters and poetry, and we spent every minute together. Our kids also got on pretty well. I never saw even a moment’s anger – until the day we were at the park with his teenage step daughter, who has Aspergers.

THE MAMA FILES: Tired, emotional and irrational.

THE MAMA FILES: A tired and slightly irrational rant.

I read somewhere that all the hormones leave your body three months after giving birth and it’s around about then that new mums hit the wall, can no longer cope with all the sleep deprivation and become grumpy beeyatches. Who knows if there’s something in it but can I just say… I AM SO TIRED. So tired. Sotiredsotiredsotired. At the moment my days feel like trying to swim through quicksand and much as I love my little bear, I just crumple when he goes to bed. Correction: I crumple after the 20 times I have put the dummy back in his mouth and patted him back to sleep and he’s finally gone down for the …

I’ve realised my partner has a real problem with alcohol. What do I do?

I’ve realised my partner has a real problem with alcohol. What do I do?

I have been seeing my boyfriend for six months, living together a month – and I’m realising he has a real problem with alcohol. He drinks to get drunk and drinks until he passes out. The next morning he drinks anything available again and then stays in the bedroom with the curtains drawn chatting to his friends on Facebook and watching videos (and playing online poker if he has any money left after the alcohol). If I go to meet a friend, when I get back it’s likely he’ll have a few of the lads over getting drunk again, and so it goes on.

THE MAMA FILES: A love letter to my Charlie Bear

THE MAMA FILES: A tired and slightly irrational rant.

Dear Charlie Well, you’re almost 3 months old now. It’s been both the longest and shortest three months of my life. And the most challenging. And also, the best. Every day I love you more. I love you so much I’m terrified by how much. It’s probably not right to love a little person as much as I love you. But still, I do. I love it when you’re beaming, pressing your little fat hands together in joy. Your big blue eyes light up and you captivate anyone and everyone who sees you mid-grin. “He’s so cute!” I hear all the time. I have to agree. Maybe I’m biased, but …

How can I get him to give us another chance?

How can I get him to give us another chance?

Me and my ex boyfriend were in a relationship for two years, and it’s been six months since we broke up. But I still can’t get over him. We co-habited and I always thought we’d be long-term. Also, he was very about me and the relationship before he moved to the States for his studies. We’d even planned on going together, but I got delayed. Now, it feels like he is just avoiding everything because of distance.

How do I let go of my anger over my ex-girlfriend?

How do I let go of my anger over my ex-girlfriend?

I’m probably 3 or 4 months out from a particularly nasty breakup, and the day I left my girlfriend of nearly 4 years was very hard because I loved her unconditionally – only to find out some horrifying truths. I found out (completely by accident) that she had been sending messages to a friend every time she was angry with me. So instead of talking to me she’d say ‘I’m fine’ and would shut me out. To add to that was her selfish attitude, the crying on demand, working all the time, talking behind my back and calling my plea for some of her time as ‘guilt tripping her’. I now see her for …

THE MAMA FILES: I’m such a rookie.

THE MAMA FILES: A tired and slightly irrational rant.

Every time I think I’ve got this kid thing sussed, something happens to ensure I am still the world’s biggest beginner in the parenthood stakes. Last week was an absolute cracker in terms of events I would much rather forget, to say nothing of the people who witnessed me doing them. Firstly, I was in one of Newtown’s coolest gift stores, Pentimento, and completely absorbed in their gift book collection at the front. I have still only taken Charlie Bear out in his pram a handful of times, and when I wheeled him in, he was asleep, giving me a chance to peruse the books without rushing. But then one of the …

THE MAMA FILES: Attached at the hip.

THE MAMA FILES: A tired and slightly irrational rant.

I knew about the relentlessness that came with having a baby. My lovely mate Mrs Hanksy told me all about it years before Charlie Bear was even a twinkle in my eye. She’s done the kid thing three times so she knows what she’s talking about. Even so, I swore blind that any child of mine would fit in with my life, rather than making me fit in with his. But no good can ever come of being a smug know-it-all when it comes to babies. I knew nothing. I know nothing. Because on day one, Charlie took over our house and told us he would be running shit around …