A year together, and he still won’t call me his girlfriend

A year together, and he still won’t call me his girlfriend

I’ve been with the guy I call ‘my boyfriend’ for a year now. That’s really the problem. He won’t refer to me as his girlfriend and the one time we had a discussion about ‘where we stand’ he said he couldn’t do it and we split for a few weeks. I realise this looks bad, I mean, I ask for a sign of commitment and the guy breaks up with me! But we got back together, and have just continued as normal without any discussion or commitment for the past nine months. I would love something. Some sign. I haven’t even met his family and he won’t go there. I’ve met a few of his friends and that’s it. I’m just starting to wonder if it’s time to move on, much as I do love him. It’s important to me and I don’t know when, if ever, he’ll be ok with going there. Help! Kate

Ok. Short answer? It’s unacceptable. Totally and utterly crap. And you know that, don’t you? You’ve been trying to get this guy to commit for a year, and he’s faffing and stalling and refusing to state the obvious. You are a couple. He is your boyfriend. You’re his girlfriend. End of story. It’s a damn fact and he knows it. The reasons behind this ridiculous shirking of commitment are obvious. He’s keeping his options open and trying to pretend this thing isn’t as deep and meaningful as it is.

Nu-uh buddy. That’s simply not on. Lady, the stringing along stops right here. Stand up for your rights as the woman in his life. Tell him – no more sex. No more snuggles. No more dinners cooked. No more dates. In fact, no more gorgeous, divine and sexy you until he introduces you to a) his family and b) more of his friends. And to all those people he will introduce you as his ‘girlfriend’. To make this plan work you have to be strong. You have to be very, very strong. And you have to be prepared to lose him if he refuses to make things official between you and give you the title and respect you deserve. But, from the sounds of it, you’re already thinking along those lines anyway. Acknowledgment. Knowing where you stand. It’s important to you. Demand it. That is all.

Love, reality chick

Got a question? Email askme@realitychick.com.au
or use the anonymous RC Question Box
Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. april 7 years ago

    I’m so curious to how this all turned out Kate.

  2. Mrs Gill 10 years ago

    Um, disagree RC. They are not a couple. She is not his girlfriend. He’s using her for sex/food/companionship until someone comes along who he actually wants to be in a relationship with. She needs to grow a pair and leave. Harsh but true

  3. Bron 10 years ago

    Run. Get out of this non-relationship and look for someone who will appreciate you for who you are.

    After you split, who was it that made the first move to get back together? I’m guessing it was you. He is not interested in commitment, he is keeping his options open while he looks for someone better…

    Get out!!!

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