Am I overreacting to this mean girl who lives with my boyfriend?

Am I overreacting to this mean girl who lives with my boyfriend?

I‘ve been with my boyfriend for almost two years after meeting at uni. We’ve been long distance and most people we know are happy for us. Except his best friend’s now ex-girlfriend who took a dislike to me from the start. She lives with my boyfriend, gives me the silent treatment and after six months I’m losing my patience. For a for a bit of background she doesn’t think I’m right for him AND she is best friends with his ex.

When I was there last, she was constantly around talking to my boyfriend like I wasn’t there. It made me sick and angry that he can be nice to her when she’s downright wrong, rude and disrespectful to me. Train tickets aren’t cheap and I feel like a fool going there and getting upset. I don’t want to go back and I’m frustrated that I’ve never confronted her. What should I do? Hoping2BHappy

Bottom line? There’ll always be people who don’t like us, for whatever reason. It’s infuriating and hurtful, especially when the reason seems particularly petty. But you can lose sleep over this mean girl, you can let it tie you up in knots, or you can get on with your life and not buy into the drama. It’s not hard to see why your boyfriend is taking the path of least resistance – after all, he has to live with her – but if it’s eating you up going there and having to deal with her bullshit, don’t go back.

Tell your boyfriend you’re over dealing with his bitchy flatmate and given he’s not inclined to confront her about her behaviour, say you’d prefer he came and visited you for a change or you met halfway in a cheap motel or B&B. Just take yourself out of her orbit when you do spend time together, and I’ll bet you’ll both be a lot happier.

Love, reality chick

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  1. Alison 8 years ago

    I agree with Bron – stand up for yourself, don’t let her get away with it or control when you can see your own boyfriend.

    Your boyfriend should be doing a lot more imo – you should probably explain to him how upset it makes you feel that he doesn’t stand up for you. He should stand up for the woman he loves and tell his flatmate that she can’t treat you in this way.

  2. bron 8 years ago

    There is no way you should let her bully you out of going to his place. What she is doing is a form of abuse – in expecting and actively working, to control who he can see and when.
    Go to his place, position yourself between them, with your back to her and speak over her. Bring takeaway – but only enough for the two of you. Bring a bottle of wine – and two glasses. Bring a romantic movie to watch together.
    Stand up for yourself, because he is not going to.

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