“After all the stress I had with Paul, I was thinking about the kind of guy I’d like to date next,” said a recently heartbroken friend of mine last week. “I’d like him to enjoy the things I do, think the same way I do, and even have the same habits. In fact, when it comes down to it I think I’m actually looking to date myself, in a male body.”
Dating your clone… hmmm, sounds appealing. In fact, it’s scarily like that Seinfeld episode where Jerry meets Jeannie, the girl who shares his initials and love of Cheerios and comics. “I know what I’ve been looking for all these years,” Jerry tells Kramer excitedly. “Myself! I’ve been waiting for me to come along! And now I’ve swept myself off my feet!” Naturally, in the same episode he realizes he can’t be with someone like himself, because he hates himself, and actually needs someone who’s the complete opposite of himself. Which begs the question: just how much do opposites attract?
I mean, there’s merit in being with someone who complements you by being neat while you’re messy, and a stellar cook while you’re famous for burning water. But fundamentally, I think you need three things in common for the best shot at creating something loving and long-term: a) values; b) life goals; c) a desire to know/socialise with your partner’s family and friends. Beyond that, you can be as downright different as you please. (I hope.)