I‘ve been with my boyfriend two years, and one of his best friends has hated me for no reason whatsoever this whole time. The first time I met him, I was called a conceited bitch out of the blue, and every time I try to make conversation with him or attempt to build a friendship with him, he completely ignores me or tells me to shut up. Hurtful statements and comments about me have been posted on my and my boyfriend’s Facebook pages on many occasions also, more hurtful and rude as time goes on. None of my boyfriend’s other mates have a problem with me, and this unrequited hatred is really beginning to hurt quite a bit. No matter what I do or say, he is hell bent on hating me for no reason. It’s really beginning to get out of hand and put a strain on the relationship as my boyfriend would rather ignore the issue. Please help! Hannah
This guy sounds like a total jerk. Is he single? Maybe he resents you for taking up what he considers sacred ‘guy’ time. Whatever. Forget about extending the olive branch any further; dealing with juvenile drop-kicks like him requires the direct approach. We have a similar question this week in NW Magazine about a bullying mother-in-law and my response is pretty much the same here: nothing is going to change unless your boyfriend gets involved and asks his so-called friend what his big fat problem is. This guy doesn’t have to like you – it’s a free country – but the inexplicable warfare is not on. To be honest, I’m gobsmacked your boyfriend hasn’t dealt with this already. Ignoring the issue has just exacerbated it, as you say, and it’s mystifying that your boyfriend would calmly stand by while his mate calls you names and disses you on a public forum such as Facebook. Two years you’ve been putting up with this crap? With zero help from the guy you love? Screw that. He needs to grow a backbone, and fast.
Tell your boyfriend you want your relationship to work, but you need his help with this – and if he wants you to stick around, he’ll tell his friend to stick HIS opinions where the sun don’t shine. You know, like he should’ve done right from the start before this morphed into the festering situation it has now become. Good luck, Hannah. Let us know how it all pans out.
Love, reality chick