Do I end my long-distance relationship for a crush?

Do I end my long-distance relationship for a crush?

For the past seven months, I’ve been dating a fantastic guy. Everything is pretty perfect except for the fact that we’re long distance and will continue to be so for the next three years until we’re both out of school. It takes a lot of effort to keep the relationship going and while I adore him, I sometimes question if it’s worth it. Three years is a long time.

Muddying the waters is a past crush who’s reentered my life. We’ve been regularly hanging out with his group of friends. No lines have been crossed (I’d never cheat) but his presence reminds me how much I’d love to have a relationship that isn’t long distance. Specifically, one with him. He’s sweet to me, goes out of his way to drive me places, buys me drinks etc. He also texts me regularly, often more than my boyfriend even does. He’s also a family friend I’ve known for years so I’m worried it might be a platonic brotherly thing on his part.

So my question is: at what point do I end my long distance relationship (if at all)? I love him, but hate the distance. And is this guy interested? This is horrible but I can’t be certain unless I break up with my boyfriend. My friend would never make a move otherwise. In A Pickle

Times like this, Pickle, I wish I had a crystal ball. I don’t, but I’ll tell you this for free: I doubt you’ll last the distance with your guy another three years. You’re having ‘get me outta here’ thoughts seven months in, hon. That’s still the heady, honeymoon stage when it should be all about Skype sex and saving your pennies for face-to-face weekends. The hefty crush you’re harbouring on your family friend is also a sign your long distance love may possibly be writing missives at Letter To My Ex sometime soon.

I don’t want to tell you what to do, but I would kick myself if I didn’t so here goes: unshackle yourself from your long distance boy with no motive except that you want and crave your freedom. Maybe once you’re single, Mr Crush will admit that all his efforts to drive you places, buy you drinks, ingratiate you with his mates and send you loads of texts are because he’s got the hots for you. Or maybe there’ll be no romantic escalation and you’ll be forced to adore him from afar. Either way, that’s okay. You’re young, you’re at college and trust me, you’ll never get this time back again. So embrace it and enjoy it.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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