Got dumped one and a half weeks ago and he’s been in contact since then via texting and talking. Today he apologised for how cruel he was that nite and he didn’t mean to make me cry. He hates himself, he wants to see me and he misses me (never expressed before). I’m better for the apology but I’m not in a hurry to get back with him. I’m not sure if he’s just wanting to relieve his guilt or wants me back. What am I missing? Sher
The first few weeks after a split is the hardest time, because let’s face it: it’s rare that a break-up doesn’t involve hurt or pain or bad feeling. How many break-ups do you hear about where both parties hug each other and say, ‘Thanks for the good times, no hard feelings eh?’ Uh, that would be never.
Right now, you guys are on a steep learning curve. The Learning To Live Without Each Other learning curve, that is. Like giving up cigarettes or chocolate, you’ve got withdrawal symptoms, in a sense, and are still craving each other’s presence, even if one or both of you wants out of the relationship overall. If he called it off but is texting/talking to you, telling you that he misses you, but NOT telling you he made the biggest mistake of his life and wants back in, I would put it down to a case of remorse and wanting to check in to make sure you’re alright. After all, it’s a hard-hearted person who can dump someone then not feel even the teeniest bit bad about the pain they put their former partner through.
If you’re not in a hurry to get back with him, that’s a good place to be in (relatively speaking). Hold onto that feeling and tell him while you miss him too, you’d rather he didn’t contact you for a while, like a month. Having no contact is really the number one way to create a life without him and move on.
Love, reality chick