I have a friend on Facebook and I would love to meet him however he has an issue with the age difference. I am 50 and he is 35. I look 40ish though and he looks 40ish too. His excuses include he has no money as he is raising two children on his own. We made an arrangement and then he backed out at the last minute. We live in the same city and I don’t have any issue with his current family situation. Do you think I should push the issue and arrange another time to meet or just drop him as a friend? We seem to have a lot in common. Marie
Okay, I’ll share with you Marie. I once dated a guy 11 years my junior. It didn’t work out because of the age gap. We had a bunch in common (even if he had no idea who Spandau Ballet or Boy George were) there was chemistry, he was super fine, and I don’t think people were horrified when they saw us out on the street together. But at some point it began to bother me. Okay I’ll be honest, it gave me a sinking feeling from the get-go. That’s not because he wasn’t a great catch, it was simply because I was searching for a life partner, and because of his age and stage in life (smoking bongs, playing computer games, flunking uni) he wasn’t it. I ended it and haven’t regretted my decision a day since.
So I can relate to your friend’s dilemma. He likes you, you click and he’s a single dad, so I’m sure he’s lonely for some loving. But he already has serious doubts about those 15 years between you. That’s why he’s flaking out with all the crazy-arsed excuses, and last minute let-downs. Let’s not condone backing out of dates, but his behaviour may be connected to his kids as well. Don’t forget, those two cherubs are his number 1# priority. He has to be 100% that the people he has in his life are right for them as well.
So you could push another meeting, and perhaps he’d be pleasantly surprised at how young and 40ish you look. And maybe you could get something going. But the fact is, his doubts would remain and your heart would be on the line. You don’t have to drop him as a friend, but perhaps it’s time you dropped him as a potential love interest. That’s not to say another 30-something couldn’t come along and be a perfect match for you, but this particular Ashton doesn’t seem like the right younger man for you.
Love, reality chick