The other day, I talked to my ex for the first time since May. And now, I think I may still have feelings for him. I’m still not really sure why he broke up with me, and he didn’t treat me that poorly. If we were to get back together, a large majority of my friends would stop talking to me, and my mom will absolutely put me on house arrest. But I think I still like him. What on earth do I do? Laura
Being dumped without a proper reason is a crappy thing to go through – and can leave you in a weird holding pattern that’s so much harder to move on from. I’m not that surprised that you talked to your ex and found yourself catapulted back to square one. It’s a classic mistake because – even after five months – you can think you’re over it, when you’ve just let enough time lapse for the break-up wounds heal slightly and for the bad memories to mellow, leaving you thinking well he wasn’t so bad after all / maybe he’s the one for you yada yada.
And maybe he is. I can’t say, because you’ve not given me a lot to go on. I know some couples who’ve been through the rockiest situations, reconciled and made it work the second time around. But what worries me about your situation is how you think your nearest and dearest would react if you did reconcile. Threatening not to speak to you again – or worse, locking you in the house if you did get back together – are pretty vehement reactions. Why DO they feel so strongly about you reconciling? Do they feel he was bad for you? Changed you? Stifled you? Manipulated or hurt you? Is he generally a bad person? Do they notice positive changes in you now you’re out of the relationship? It’s worth taking all of that on board if you’re seriously thinking about getting back with this guy, as often we see only what we want to see when we’re blinded by lurve.
Love, reality chick