This guest post was written by Melbourne-based dating coach Chris Manak, who pulls no punches in helping people find love. Here, he’s got a message for blokes: if you’re doing any of these things on the dating scene, stop it.
1. Not taking action
I don’t believe in the “It will happen when you least expect it” mentality. For every person finding love in an unexpected hour, there are hundreds, thousands, who are not. If you want to date more, you need to do something about it. It sounds obvious right? But a lot of single men simply are not opening themselves up to meeting women. Go out to bars, smile at the woman in the supermarket, join social classes, go to Meetup events, jump online – if you want to date more, you need to do something about it.
2. Not approaching
You need to summon the courage to approach women and start a conversation. Some will respond well, some won’t – that is the nature of the beast, accept it. You can go out every night but if you’re not trying to talk to anyone, nothing is going to happen.
3. Not closing the deal
You can talk to woman after woman (well done!) but if you’re not asking for any phone numbers, you will not be getting any dates.
4. Not dressing well
Most older guys that I meet who are struggling with dating dress horribly. I’m talking about ten-year-old shirts, jeans that are three sizes too big, runners. You need to learn how to dress. This will hugely influence your success in dating. Get help from a stylist or personal shopper if you need it.
5. Spending too much time online
Online dating is fine, but it is just one tool that should be part of a toolbox. And just like any other tool, the results will vary upon whom is using it. Sitting online night after night will not improve your socializing and dating skills.
6. Being too needy
It’s the same old story – guy meets girl, gets her phone number (well done!) but then texts and texts, and calls and calls. He might even go on a date with her, and then he wants to know the next day when he is seeing her again. Relax! Calm down. You NEED to have your own life and keep doing your own things. Let it flow.
7. Playing games
Treat em mean keep em keep, 3-day rules – we’ve all heard of the games. A truly confident man does not need to do these things, and a truly confident woman will not tolerate them. A relationship started on games will be a relationship maintaining those games, and what a headache that will be.
8. Being cheap
Pay for her dinner damn it!
9. Not taking the lead
Be it not maintaining the conversation, leaving her staring at you awkwardly, or not making decisions on the date – stop needing her permission over every minor detail. Just man up and make some decisions.
10. Getting jealous and being possessive
This is a huge indicator of insecurity and a surefire way to send her running. No one likes having their freedom taken away or being questioned whenever they leave the house. The best answer to “I’m going out with the girls tonight” is “OK baby, have fun and give me a call tomorrow”.
Chris Manak is a Melbourne based dating coach and founder of Manic Workshops.
Do you agree with these dating mistakes? Got anything to add? Hit up the comments.