He only texts me, never calls. Is it a sign he’s not that keen?

He only texts me, never calls. Is it a sign he’s not that keen?

I met an older guy online (he is 7 years older than me) and I really like him. There’s just one problem. He always texts me and says sweet things in his texts – but he never calls. I mean NEVER. The thing is, he always seems to want to be with me and see me and do stuff … but the not calling thing confuses me. Is it a sign of something? Do you think he really likes me or is he just playing around? Kimia

Firstly, lets look at your age difference. If you are, say, 30 and he’s 37, this is absolutely no biggie. But if you are say, 15 and he is 22, then it’s wrong (and illegal). So before I go any further, if you are still in high school, please go rent a movie called Hard Candy, watch it, and block your internet guy from any further contact. If you are consenting, age-appropriate adults, then I’ll dismount my high horse so we can examine the problem of your guy not calling you. EVER. Sigh. How frustrating. There’s nothing more delicious than a phone call from a new sweetie. We ladies love that shit, right? But not all guys adore the cellular chit chat. And in this age of tweet me / text me / email me / IM me communication we simply don’t have to pick up our smart phones and dial digits anymore. Like so many of us, your guy could just have become more comfortable with other forms of setting up dates and meetings and has forgotten about the good, old fashioned phone call. He might be playing around, sure. But then again, he might simply hate his speaking voice, or just feel a bit nervous about calling you. Far more likely to be flubs, awkward moments and weird things said over the phone line, am I right?
The other point to put forward here, is that you simply call him. If he doesn’t pick up, EVER, then you’ll have a valid bone to pick. But if he does, then really, who gives a rats who made the connection?
Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

1 Comment

  1. Melissa Wilkes 10 years ago

    Ok so the guy doesn’t call and your continuosly hanging around that phone like its the biggest diamond ring you have ever seen and its trying to jump on your finger?
    Or your heart chokes off your speech and you almost need to give yourself the Heimlich removal to be able to croak something intelligible like “Hello”.just incase its him.?
    What can I say but I really hate talking on the phone with someone that I am in a relationship with, text yes, in person hell-yeah!, Snail mail…why not, even sign language works for me. I just seem to have a problem with the phone!. If you feel the love is there don’t worry so much about the mode of communication.

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