I was in the beginnings of a relationship with a guy when he suddenly stopped talking to me. When I asked what was going on, I received a non-committal ‘talk soon’ text message back. He did get back to me about a week later and said that he didn’t want an exclusive relationship – but, he asked me, was I keen on having casual sex? I’m feeling quite hurt at his suggestion. This translates to me that I’m OK for a root but not a relationship. Why would he suggest this or is this normal?! Am I being stupid? Suzie
Are you being stupid? No. You’re being human. If love was a gift, you were expecting a solid silver Tiffany bracelet and instead you got a Happy Meal toy. You should expect to feel ripped off at his suggestion of the odd meaningless root after you thought things were heading towards a real relationship.
I’m guessing you were hoping for dates, hand holding and shared dreams? And he just wanted a warm, compliant body. Yeowch. Dating is tricky sometimes. People have so many different expectations. Some want casual sex, other want matching Volvos and a mortgage. Remember not to devalue yourself because his standards don’t match yours. Next time, be upfront about what you’re looking for, and remember that not all blokes think it’s normal to suggest sex with no strings.
Love, reality chick