I was seeing a guy for a couple of months. Everything seemed great. Although he tried to fast-forward things. He wanted to meet my whole family straight away. I was like, what’s the rush? We only just met. I wanted to wait as there wouldn’t have been much point if it soon fizzled out. Two months later he dumped me because he ‘wanted to be single’. I was angry – I mean, why lead me on and start a relationship to begin with? Then months later he texts me (lazy communication) and begs and pleads for another chance. Says everything will be different. I said I’d think about it. We arranged to have coffee. Then at the last minute he stood me up. Again, I was really angry. What about our plans? So much for bloody changing! Then he calls me a nutjob! WTF? How can people be so cruel? I want revenge. Angry Ex
I can imagine. What a muppet he turned out to be. I have a friend who always says (ominously) to beware the Keen Man. She’s dated a few, and believes they almost always try and rush things, only to drop you like a hot potato when they realized they’ve ‘hooked’ you. Baffling, really. People on the dating scene who play stupid games, toy with others – almost just because they can – well, it’s not just bad manners. It’s practically sociopathic, if you ask me. I understand your infuriation, but see this for what it is: a very good lesson. You’ve sharpened your guy gauge for next time, and that’s invaluable.
I wholeheartedly support you giving your ex a serve for his bad behaviour – either by phone or email. However, chances are that someone of his advanced dickhead status won’t have the self awareness to actually take it on board, much less change his behaviour going forward. So whether it’s worth your time and effort is debatable. As for revenge – I know it’s tempting, but don’t. You’ll invariably end up looking like a nutter, and there are more effective ways to make your point. Like cutting him off. Ignoring him. Blanking him. Defriending him on Facebook. Unfollowing him on Twitter. If he happens to catch you on the phone by sneakily calling from a blocked number (I wouldn’t put it past him), say firmly, ‘I have nothing to say to you. Please don’t contact me again.’ And hang up.
I know you’re mad, and hurt and feel like your heart has gone through a meat grinder. But don’t let it consume you. There are great guys out there who DO have manners. Who behave honourably. And who know it’s just not cool to stuff a woman around. Rather than waste time on fantasies about getting back at him, I’d be getting back out there and finding someone better. That, to me, is really the best revenge ever.
Love, reality chick