He took her driving, says nothing happened, but…

He took her driving, says nothing happened, but…

My fiance used to go out driving with this chick when we first started dating. He says that nothing happened but they went out for drinks and she used to give him money. I don’t know if I can believe what he says. Why would she do that if she was getting nothing in return? I’ve confronted him about a couple of times and he stills denies it. He says he would never as I’m way more attractive and he’s not stupid. Should I believe him? Isis

Okay, well, the whole thing COULD be totally innocent. Maybe they were just friends, and she owned him money for some reason, and it’s all far less loaded than it sounds. My hunch? There are only two scenarios in which taking another girl out driving and out drinking, and then accepting her money, makes sense. One, you’re an actor pretending to be a chauffeur and shooting a remake of Driving Miss Daisy. Or two, you’re a school-teacher moonlighting as a male hooker in your spare time, a la Thomas Jane in Hung.  (That said, I do suffer from a bit of an overactive imagination.)

You don’t say if you knew about this when it was happening, or if it’s something that you discovered after you guys got engaged. Either way, I understand your suspicions. Should you believe him? I’m inclined to say no. I don’t know your guy, but my dodgy behavior radar never fails and somewhere in this supposedly-innocent scenario, I smell a rat. I think you do too, Isis, otherwise you wouldn’t have written in. Call it women’s intuition, but I think most girls know in their gut if something’s not quite right about their partner or the relationship. Usually – and I’ve been here, so I know – it’s when a weird story just doesn’t add up.

So, where do you go from here? Should you dig for more info despite his denials? Should you let it go, put it in the ‘it happened in the past’ basket and move on? How do you feel about standing in front of friends and family on your wedding day and pledging to share a future with this guy? Will you always have a niggling sense of worry about what you don’t, and might never, know? These are questions only you can answer, and I’d be doing some pretty serious thinking right about now.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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