I’ve been seeing this guy for just over a month now, we act like a couple but he doesn’t want a relationship just yet. I’ve accepted that and am ready to just take it slow. Only problem is he’s sex crazed and says it’s the only way he develops emotions, but I need emotions to have that physical connection.
I’ve talked to him about more ‘lovey’ time and he’s been doing that but still wants sex after. So I’ve just decided to give him what he wants. I’ve always had a problem with orgasms and he’s the first to give me one, but once I have one, I’m just done, I have no energy at all, where as he manages 10 rounds and wants it every day. I’m 21 and should be able to manage that. But I just can’t. How do I get more energy for sex? Sameerah
Nothing is guaranteed to turn you off wanting sex regularly than someone who wants it ten times a day. I had a friend with a SUPER strong libido who met her match (and then some) with a guy whose sex drive was relentless. She completely lost her libido because, as she told me, she never again had the chance to build up a desire for sex or instigate it because he was just in her face so much.
Depressing, right? There’s a lot to that saying about too much of anything being a bad thing. (Except maybe when it comes to chocolate.) Of course, a relationship with radically mismatched libidos can work – if you can both compromise, and to be honest, it’s probably the norm rather than the exception. But your guy doesn’t even want a relationship. He just wants a bedpal and he’s willing to talk the talk to get it (c’mon, the more you put out, the more he’ll ‘develop emotions’? Gimme a break).
You don’t need more energy for sex, Sameerah. You just need to have a serious chat with your sex addict and see where he stands, if he wants something serious with you starting now, and whether he’s willing to compromise on the frequency. Because what you’ve got going on right now – ‘just giving him what he wants’ – sounds great for him, and completely bonkers for you.
Love, reality chick