Help! Our schedules are killing our relationship

Help! Our schedules are killing our relationship

How to have a relationship with busy schedules? My boyfriend of two years works from 5am-2pm. He gets home around 3pm. From 3:40-4:30 he calls me, then he gets ready and goes to his 6pm class which ends at 10pm. This happens every day, Monday to Friday. I have class in the morning and dropped my last class of the day to be able to talk to him. We’re only together on weekends and even so he works on Saturday mornings. How can we make the best of this? Need More time

I got tired just reading this email. How do you manage it? I’ll start by acknowledging the work you’ve done so far keeping your love on track. Well done. It can’t have been easy with the limited amount of hours you get to see each other during the week. But you do need to prioritise your relationship amongst this mountain of work and study. Is there any lee-way at all with your current schedules?

Weekday work has to stay to pay the bills, and you both seem committed to further study, but what about the Saturday your boyfriend heads back to the workforce? Is it really essential? You guys desperately need the weekend to recharge, stay in bed, cuddle and reconnect as a couple. You’ve also done a little juggling with one of your classes to be able to talk to him. Is your boyfriend able to do the same thing with his study? Even if it’s just one free weeknight where you guys get to sit down, have a meal together and fall asleep in front of the TV. That sort of checking in is very important.

The other thing I would suggest is making the most out of your Saturday afternoons and Sundays. Shut the door on the world for at least a few hours on Saturday afternoon and treat each other to some alone time in the bedroom. Then make time for at least a few hours of fun stuff on Sunday, not just catching up on chores. You could also look at planning a holiday together. No work, no books, just you two. Block it out in your calendar and make it an absolute must do. Even if it’s just a long weekend camping. Above all, remember that it’s not forever. You will both wrap up your studies, and your partner won’t do shift work forever.

Love, reality chick


Got a question for reality chick? Email
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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

1 Comment

  1. Quentaris 9 years ago

    @realitychickaus lol totally misread your last tweet “when your socks suck so much they never see one another” #ohdeartimeforacuppa

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