Hi. I’m 24 and in a long distance relationship with a 35 year old man. I love him so much and he says he loves me but I feel insecure and uncertain. He’s self employed and always busy – like, daily til 1am. And communication between us sucks. He can spend weeks without calling me, just texting me ‘hi’ or ‘goodnight’ – this will be maybe like three times a week.
I really want him to call more. Maybe not every day, but at least twice a week – and to text me more, too. I feel since we’re far away from each other and I haven’t seen him in four months, communication is the only thing we have to grow and connect. I sometimes feel like he doesn’t care just because he doesn’t communicate with me enough. I’m the one always calling him because waiting for him to call would take weeks, and at times he doesn’t pick up when I call and doesn’t bother to call me back.
I go crazy when a day goes by without him saying a word to me yet he would’ve checked in on social sites. I’m tired of complaining about this but he doesn’t seem to get it. Is it the age thing? He thinks am being childish. Am I being needy or reasonable? Seriously how much time does it take to text your long-distance girlfriend or call for a two-minute call? UncertainNo time at all, if you’re invested in the relationship. I know, ouch. But, girlfriend, you’re uncertain for a reason. He belongs in the ‘No Effort, You’re Dumped’ basket. He possibly belonged there four months ago, but you have far more patience than the average bear.
For the record, I don’t think it’s an age thing. I think it’s an indifference thing. Any guy who thinks you’re ‘childish’ expecting a call every so often or who believes a measley ‘hi’ or ‘goodnight’ text a few times a week justifies a relationship is either a) super dense or b) not into you. I’m going with b), and I don’t say that to hurt you, but to save you wasting another four months waiting by the phone for a dick who has time to check in on social sites but no time to call his girlfriend.
Love, reality chick