How can I get him to give us another chance?

How can I get him to give us another chance?
How can I get him to give us another chance?

Hello. Me and my ex boyfriend were in a relationship for two years, and it’s been six months since we broke up. But I still can’t get over him. We co-habited and I always thought we’d be long-term. Also, he was very about me and the relationship before he moved to the States for his studies. We’d even planned on going together, but I got delayed. Now, it feels like he is just avoiding everything because of distance. 

I just can’t get over it. I’ll be going to the States in couple of months but how do I tell him to give me and our relationship one last chance? I have tried emailing and texting him but for the most part he doesn’t reply. Help. Aneri

Sadly for you, Aneri, his silence is his answer. If he’s on campus somewhere, his life is probably full of new people and places and experiences and the novelty of all those things have, perhaps, eclipsed you and the relationship you once shared. It’s not fair. It sucks. But it is what it is. He should’ve been big enough to come clean about his feelings, but it sounds like he’s just left you in limbo, which is a horrible and painful place to be in when you’re still in love with someone.

I know you’re asking me for the magic bullet, but I don’t have one. Only because, I’ve seen both sides, and when you stop loving someone, or someone stops loving you, there often isn’t a way back. There’s just forward. One foot in front of the other, no matter how hard it is.

If I were you, I wouldn’t go chasing him. Go travelling by all means – in fact it’s a great idea – but not with the sole purpose of seeing him and begging him to reconcile. If anything, I’d go somewhere else (the world’s a big place), maybe on a tour where you’ll meet a whole heap of people and get a new perspective on your life and your future. It may seem like it’s all about him right now, but the day will come when it won’t be and you won’t care as much. I hope for you, that day isn’t too far away.

Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. Lisa 6 years ago

    Great advice. You’re so gentle!

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