How can I meet men the old-fashioned way?

How can I meet men the old-fashioned way?

Hey RC. I’ve tried RSVP, E-harmony, you name it, I’ve tried it. I’ve been on, I don’t know, I’ve lost count, at least a dozen dates, probably more, and they’ve all been boring / odd / freaks / fucktards. I need to meet men the old-fashioned way but… how?

I mean seriously, when you’re not into meeting via the bar scene and you work from home and all your friends are coupled up or gay… HOW? Sydney Chick

Fucktards! What a great new word to add to my vocab. I’ve been where you are Sydney Chick…at a loss to where all the decent men are in this town (hiding together in a big football stadium perhaps?) Whilst I think online dating is an essential tool to have in your dating kit, it’s good to mix it up. I’d start by taking a business approach to your single status. Let all the people in your life know you’d like to be introduced to their available friends. Send out an email if you have to and be direct. “Dear Friends, I’d like to meet someone…can you help?”

Then make a plan to get out of your comfort zone and out of the house. Join a swimming club (nice, fit boys in Speedos), a surf lifesaving club (ditto), a touch rugby team, mixed soccer or anything else that takes your fancy (fencing, tennis…whatever you like). Try speed dating (take along a girlfriend to bolster your confidence), host a cocktail party and ask your mates to bring single friends, start a bookclub, check out your local trivia night, go on more internet dates, take an adventurous trip with a small group (think Intrepid or Geckos), take a cooking class that might attract men, study a short course in photography (nice men with cameras) or learn a language. The one thing you can’t do is stop trying or searching.

Even if you are in a lift, or a cafe waiting for your flat white, strike up conversations with men. They may lead to nothing more than a nice chat. But you’ve got to be putting lots of lines in the water to snare a tasty fish.

Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. TheHonestTrueAnswer 3 years ago

    It is very extremely hard for many of us Good single men out there to find a Good woman that Isn’t very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, and very money hungry nowadays since many women will Never Ever go with a man that makes much less Money than they do which it is a real shame that they Can’t Accept us men for who we really are since it is all about Money for them

    • Author

      Or maybe it could be the gigantic chip on your shoulder that stops you meeting women who don’t give a crap about how much you make? They are out there. Some women make their own money, you know.

  2. clifton 6 years ago

    wow this sit and the guest here have given some really nice advice on how to find a find a nice partner …i am a young man and i think the on line dating is not going to bring mush of is the results we want because …as a good person and decent man or woman you can see what the person is doing and where they are ,now they are so many things that a person post on line can be wrong or fake,for example you may be talking to a scammer,a criminal ,a cheater or some one that say they lives in the USA and live in africa,so the get into things that you love doing and the old fashion way is great you cant go wrong seeing the person before you go and talk to more thing alot of people forgetting the romantic side of dating and this is part of who is a good guy like…when you go for dinner he should pay,open any door for the lady,get the chair for her,always pay interest in what she do and what she wants if its some thing good,make her feel special ,protect her,dont let any one talk bad about her and teach her to do the right thing so you would not have to look bad ,
    have a great day every one and this site is good

  3. AussieAref 7 years ago

    If you’ve had dozens of dates and you think all of them have been boring, weird or freaks, it means that you are a fucking stuck-up and confused chick!

  4. Lola 9 years ago

    Let’s not forget supermarkets!!! Single men tend to do their shopping after 7pm!

  5. Author
    realitychick 9 years ago

    Interesting Anthony – I’ve often wondered about how often internet sex sites lead to love / long-term relationships

  6. Anthony 9 years ago

    I met my partner on a internet (no strings attached sex) site… It started as just lust, but we started liking each other even before we became sexual. We’re going ok… On/off sometimes. Celebrating 6 months tomorrow.

  7. john 9 years ago

    I met my partner on the street – I asked her for directions and three years later we’re still going strong! I think the random meet always works better than online so Sydney Chick should get off that computer and get out into the world!!!

  8. pollypringle 9 years ago

    Definitely agree with RC on a few points here:

    1. Go travelling as much as you can on those small group tours like Intrepid. It really is an awesome way to bond with people AND if there’s a single guy in the group you never know your luck.

    2. I did a language class recently and it was STAAAAAAACKED with hot single guys. I’m taken so didn’t really care obviously, but I got the impression that a LOT of them were there to meet women, as well as to learn Italian. Better yet take a two-pronged approach – book a holiday AND a language class.

    3. There’s also a book by Jacinta Tynan called Good Man Hunting which is all about her search to meet a husband (she was in her 30s at the time) which might give you some more ideas.

    Good luck! Polly xx

  9. Dragonfly 9 years ago

    I have a friend who always complains about not meeting guys but she never goes out or does anything. I’ve found one of the most important ways to meet real genuine guys is to get out there. You cant expect Mr. Right to sashay up to you if you’re closeted away with work and the like.
    I do a few activities in my spare time and in each of them there are at least 5 eligible guys or at least people that KNOW hot eligible guys 😉 Like RC and CdnGuy said also – make sure that it is something you are interested in, because if you enjoy what youre doing 1. you will have a fun time if there isn’t someone there and 2. if there is, the guy will love that you are having fun doing it. The shared interest is there, so you can have fun finding out other shared interests… maybe over a coffee… you get my drift 🙂

    • gse 6 years ago


  10. Author
    realitychick 9 years ago

    CdnGuy, you are on a roll buddy 🙂

  11. CdnGuy 9 years ago

    good advice RC, except most guys who use dating sites are douchebags…imho
    I’d start by not looking…. don’t sign up for a bunch of stuff just to meet guys, start doing stuff you enjoy . it’s way more likely that you’ll meet someone on the same wavelength as you if you’re doing something you dig than if you sign up ’cause you think the right guy will be there. If you like pre-revolutionary russian authors and the clash and then go and sign up for an ultimate frisbee league you may be sadly disappointed in the guys you meet…

    like i said imo…


  1. […] I recently fielded a question from a reader wondering how to meet men the old fashioned way (link:, so if you’re over the online thing, here are my picks for your social calendar in the coming […]

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