Husband sends wife a spreadsheet of all the times she turned him down for sex.

Husband sends wife a spreadsheet of all the times she turned him down for sex.


Droughts happen in long-term relationships. That’s life. You have to communicate through it and not let it become the big elephant in the room, if you can. But I find this story pretty sad. Basically, a wife received a spreadsheet from her passive-aggressive husband documenting all her reasons for rejecting his sexual advances. She retaliated by sharing it on the Internet and not surprisingly, it’s gone viral.

I feel kind of voyeuristic even READING this spreadsheet, which suggests she’s doling out pity sex once every 10 days and turns it down other times because she’s sweaty/full/tired etc. If I was her, I would be completely floored by his actions, but I also have to wonder… IS it an act of a total jerk who’s only interested in getting laid or a last resort by a desperate guy who’s tried other avenues to fix things in the bedroom with a wife who doesn’t think there’s an issue?

Latest update on Reddit:

My husband [M26] sent me [F26] an immature, inflammatory email as I was driving to the airport for a 10-day work trip. Now he has cut contact.

If you’re interested, the discussion continues on Reddit.

What would you do if your partner sent you a spreadsheet like this?

Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. Cyndie 6 years ago

    This is so bad, very infuriating! I feel for this girl. Men can put so much pressure on their partner, it only makes it worse.

  2. Jacqui 6 years ago

    And this spreadsheet is going to make her horny and fall into his arms then?? I’d be suggesting that there might be a whole lots of new reasons she’s not sleeping with him now, perhaps not finding her obsessive, whiny, non-communicative (how about talking??), hubby might not seem so attractive for a while.

    She doesn’t have to have sex if she doesn’t want to. End of story.

  3. Lol 6 years ago

    women are so scared of a man bringing down the logic hammer. No he wasnt being passive aggressive, he was being blunt saying you give lame excuses and dont have sex with me enough and here is proof.

    Why did she marry the guy if she isnt interesting in making love more than once a month ?

    • Hmmm 6 years ago

      If you read her explanations on Reddit she says it was a blip in the usual status quo and they were busy and blah blah and sex fell by the wayside – which can happen.

      But yeah, in relationships you have to prioritise intimacy and while it was an immature move on his part maybe there was some sense of him not knowing how else to get her attention or get her to take it seriously??

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