I live with my boyfriend… and his misogynistic, selfish, slob of a friend

I live with my boyfriend… and his misogynistic, selfish, slob of a friend
I live with my boyfriend… and his misogynistic, selfish, slob of a friend

I really need some advice about my relationship with my boyfriend of a year. HE is amazing and we’ve lived together for a few months now, but my problem is with his best friend. This guy is rude, selfish, loud, overbearing, misogynistic and a slob who does not clean up after himself. As he also lives with us, everybody is constantly cleaning up after him.

I am just now starting to realise my dislike for him. My boyfriend has made it clear that he loves his friend and will not entertain the thought of moving out / leaving him. I sometimes think that he loves his idiot friend more than he loves me! It’s gotten to the point where I’m considering leaving my boyfriend (who I love) because of this guy, which is not fair to me or my boyfriend. Should I let this guy ruin our relationship? Kayla

Sounds like a fun sharehouse situation. I’m with you on the moving out idea, Kayla. It doesn’t have to be at the expense of your relationship – you can make it clear to your boyfriend that you love him and you’re still very keen to keep dating, and you hope he is too. However, you shouldn’t have to to put up with his friend’s crap day out in what is supposed to be your refuge from the world. So all you’re doing is removing yourself from a toxic living situation, really.

You can’t make your boyfriend choose. He may love you to pieces and be torn by this situation, especially if his friendship with this guy goes back decades (you’ve only been in his life a year). So all you can do is make a decision that’s right for you, be mature about it and continue building a great relationship while living in separate homes. If you guys can keep things humming along without co-habiting, I reckon he’ll eventually  want to live with just you. And if he doesn’t warm to the idea in say, six months or a year? Accept that the bromance has won, he’s cool with cleaning up after his slobbish mate indefinitely and you, my friend, have dodged a bullet.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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