I want a relationship, he wants casual sex. Help!

I want a relationship, he wants casual sex. Help!

I want a relationship, he wants casual sexSo, I’ve been dating this guy for three or four months and recently at a party he explained he wasn’t ready for a relationship for 1-2 years but casual sex would suit him.

I thanked him for his honesty but was bummed out, not just because he hadn’t told me sooner but because I’d been banking on things developing at some point. Anyway, to sort of part ways (as you do) we ended up mucking around (no sex). Now I’m scared I’ve given him the wrong idea.

I don’t want to become his casual sex buddy – I like him too much for that – but I also don’t want to stop talking to him. Actually, the attraction is driving me nuts. It’s been a few days since the incident. Any advice? Triss

Hmmm, the whole ‘Where do we stand’ conversation is really theme of the month around here. Yours is particularly text-book: you want commitment, he just wants sex. Brilliant. At least, as you say, he’s honest – although that’s probably information that would’ve been handy, oh, two months ago.

In the meantime, you’ve a) gotten attached and b) developed the major hots for the guy. No surprise there. But trust me, hanging around talking to him and pretending to be ‘friends’ while trying to douse the flames of desire won’t work. You’ll just end up falling into each other’s underpants and while that’s great if you’re both down with being casual bed pals, it’s a horribly painful purgatory to get stuck in when one of you wants more.

Make the break and cut off contact for a while, Triss. Quick, like a bandaid.

Love, reality chick


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