I have a wonderful boyfriend. We met at work and are now dating – for nearly two months. I am kicking myself now though because he is not into Valentine’s Day, and while I struggle with the commercialisation of the day, I am a romantic. He didn’t do anything and when he asked if he was supposed to, I told him not to worry and that the prices for dinner, flowers, etc., are too expensive and unfair. I wish I had been more honest with him. He is out playing basketball while I eat my takeaway Indian! What should I do? How do I explain that I should have told him the truth and that I am a typical woman and of course, I would have liked something for Valentine’s Day?! Has the window of opportunity passed and let this be a lesson to me to speak up next time? Annabel
You wouldn’t be the first girl to say; ‘oh Valentine’s Day – totally not into that. So commercial. So contrived.’ And then wait hopefully on February 14 for a delivery of a dozen of your favourite blooms and a box of Belgium chocolates. Sigh. Why do we do it? This particular window of opportunity has passed, but let this be a lesson to you and all the other hopeless romantics out there (guilty as charged): Be upfront about Valentine’s Day. And all the other days where you can mark your love for each other. That includes birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries. Sure V Day is ridiculously cheesy and OTT and you don’t want to be one of those couples that hire out an ice skating rink, a Barry White impersonator and proceed to feed each other fondue wearing matching tracksuits. But there is something really sad about sitting at home on V Day eating chicken korma while your boyfriend shoots hoops. This year, like every other year, my partner brought me a joke card for our Valentine’s Day. And I realised I’m over it. Like you, I want something special and heartfelt to happen on the one day of the year set aside just for couples. I want flowers, a handwritten note, and dinner made for me. Even if it’s just bringing home a pizza and garlic bread. I also want to let him know what he means to me by writing my own love note and perhaps giving him a foot massage. So next year, I’m changing my tune. I’m spelling out very clearly what I want and need for V Day. And I hope Annabel that you do the same.
Love, reality chick
PS: You have a wonderful boyfriend. Yay for you!