I’m 26, pregnant and at the crossroads. Help.

I’m 26, pregnant and at the crossroads. Help.

I’m 26, pregnant and at the crossroads.jpg

I I’m 26 and recently found out that I’m pregnant. My boyfriend and I are committed, but he struggles financially and I’m the more grown-up one in our relationship. I know he can’t take care of me and the baby and doesn’t want to give up our life together. We both also don’t want to be one of those couples that talks about our child when people ask how we’re doing. I can’t decide if I should terminate the pregnancy while I’m still young knowing my partner doesn’t want kids, or keep it because having a life growing inside of me is one of the coolest things a woman’s body can do. Christine

Sure, having a baby is one of the coolest things a woman’s body can do. But you’re not a flipping science project, girlfriend – we’re talking lifelong commitment here and it’s HARD, hard work. If you haven’t been around babies much, here’s a sneak peek of what to expect: no more social life, for a while at least. Very little sleep for you and your guy. Your life will revolve around a newborn that’ll be dependent on you 24/7, will scream and cry and need around 60-80 nappy changes A WEEK, not to mention requiring feeding around 11 hours of every 24-hour period. If your guy’s not on board, you’ll be shouldering all of that on your own.

I can’t tell you what to do. But the tone of your letter makes me worry that neither of you are ready or willing to take the massive leap and lifestyle change that parenthood entails. You need to talk to a trusted friend, parent or counsellor about your options – be it having the baby and adopting it, terminating (if you’re at an early stage) or assessing whether you DO want the baby and can rally round a support network to help you emotionally, physically and financially. It’s a huge life change and a huge decision, and I really do wish you all the best in making it.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

2 Comments

  1. Claire 3 years ago

    Haha love the part about not wanting to be a couple that always talks about your child. First up throughout your pregnancy and once you’ve had bubs it’s all ppl are going to ask you about and secondly the moment you first hold the bundle of joy it’s all you care about and want to talk about (and all anyone will ask you about!!)
    But seriously if you aren’t ready to give up your social life and sleep then you aren’t ready to go down the most amazing, awe inspiring journey. If you can’t put baby’s needs first above your own then it’s best to not bring a bub into your life.

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