I’m a wreck over my ex’s upcoming marriage

I’m a wreck over my ex’s upcoming marriage

I'm a wreck over my ex's upcoming marriage

I‘m 22. When I was 17, I fell in love with an older guy who cheated on me countless girls. He broke it off because I confronted the other girls and I subsequently fell into a severe depression. I cut him out of my life for a while, but last year he got in touch asking for forgiveness and I agreed (I love the guy). We went on a trip with friends and we ended up making out. I then found out after we got back that he was getting engaged to another girl and had hidden it. He told me he was about to tell me, so I let it go.

But we haven’t talked at all in the last month and he is getting married in 2 days and I’m a complete emotional wreck. I’m super depressed and desperately need help. People tell me to let go or not to think about it but I can’t. I just love him so much and have been single since he left me. I’m shattered. I really need some expert advice. Manal

Manal, I’m sorry you’re suffering so much. But whoever’s telling you to let go is right. It’s time. You’ve carried this heartbreak for too long, and from where I’m sitting, your ongoing devotion to this guy is a worry and in light of his behaviour, undeserved in just about every way possible and then some.

Promise you’ll do a few things for me: 1) Go back to the doctor. Get a referral and talk to a psychologist. 2) Talk to a few friends and family members who’ll take you and your feelings seriously. You need ongoing support right now from those who are close to you, and you need them to know the extent of how you’re feeling. 3) Thirdly, and so importantly, do a tech cleanse and take him out of your phone, block his email, unfollow him on Twitter, Facebook (especially Facebook – the last thing you need to see are the wedding happy snaps), Instagram, Tumbler and anywhere else you have online ties to him.

I’m betting marriage won’t reform your ex, and he may try to reel you back in at some point in the future. Don’t let that happen. To move on and heal and believe there are better things ahead, you really need to cut him out of your life for good.

Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


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