I’m in love with my best friend but there’s a hitch

I’m in love with my best friend but there’s a hitch

NEW Q: I'm in love with best friend but there's a hitch

I‘m in love with my best friend. He’s my world and we’ve been best friends for 4 years now. He always supports me – he’s even attended funerals with me – and he really the only guy that knows me, understands me, knows when something’s wrong with me. He’s always there for me and he’s just the greatest guy. The only hitch is… he’s gay. He has a boyfriend but his boyfriend is always partying or flirting with other guys. I told him to dump the boyfriend but he won’t. I keep thinking he’s just the only guy for me, and I don’t know what to do. Can you tell me what I should do about this?Brittany

Brittany my love, there’s no happy ending for you here. He’s gay and that means no matter how awesome a guy he is, how awesome a friend he is, or how awful his boyfriend is, he’s just not going to ever want to ride the hobby horse with you. He’s numero UNO on your list of unattainable things. You know that list? The one that has other items on it like wishing it was the 80s again? Having a monkey as a pet? Turning yourself into a unicorn? Bonking Channing Tatum? You need to stop romanticising him as The Guy For You and see him for what he is and will always be: your lovely, amazing gay friend. Emphasis on friend.

Also, I don’t think it could hurt to socialise with different kinds of people a bit more, or with MORE people – with him, if you like, but just putting yourself out there. Going to a few more parties or organising picnics or just inviting bunches of people to the movies is key to extending your social circle, meeting more guys (and girls) and just letting yourself see there are other options out there. Great friendships are amazing, but not if they exist in a bubble.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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