I have been sleeping with my ex while he has a girlfriend. I know this is bad, and that’s not what my question is about as such. Should I tell the girlfriend? I used to work with her, many moons ago before either of us were involved with him. I don’t like her and never have, but I do know her. We haven’t seen each other from before either of us got together with him. I have however been in occasional contact with a mutual friend. I’ve just been thinking that if it was me who was the girlfriend – I’d want to know? Thoughts, advice is needed! If I do let her know, how do I go about it?? Right Or Wrong
Good question. I’m dubious about why you really want to bust open this twisted love triangle. After all, you’re bonking her boyfriend (the fact he used to be your ex is immaterial) and you don’t like her and never have. So, I’m guessing guilt and / or remorse can’t be among your motives. Saying that you’d ‘want to know’ if you were in her position sounds noble and all, but sweetheart, you are DRIVING the home-wrecking runaway train, which kinda makes it hard to buy your burst of morality. You don’t mention any plans to end the affair with this guy either, so … what gives? Are you hoping that by telling her, and basically smashing her world into pieces, she’ll leave him and pave the way clear for you to reconcile with him properly? It might happen. More likely, you’ll land at the epicentre of an almighty shit-storm where both of them end up hating your guts, and you won’t feel too hot about facing yourself in the mirror, either.
So, the big reveal isn’t something I can advise you to do or not do. But if you do make your move and mess with her life, walk away from the guy first – I mean REALLY walk away – and then tell her the truth about your part. In person. Do it because you want to be the kind of woman who acts with integrity and to make amends, rather than for the selfish, shameful hope that it’ll free him up to be with you.
Love, reality chick
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