My boyfriend AJ and I have been together for two months and I really care about him, but the feelings aren’t the same (due to his jealousy and clinginess). And, on Halloween I ended up kissing my friend Logan, who I really like. I told my boyfriend about it because I couldn’t lie to him, but he just begged me not to leave and told me he loved me.
I told him I need time, but I don’t know what to do and he wants me to pick him, but Logan wants me to pick him and I’m so torn. I made two pros and cons lists, one for AJ and one for Logan, and Logan had more pros and AJ had more cons. I don’t want to hurt AJ, but I want Logan. How do I do this and not hurt either of them? Alysha
There’s no way to do this without hurting AJ. And if you’ve got the hots for Logan, shielding AJ from that or trying to maintain a relationship in a big fat bubble of denial is worse than cutting the guy loose and letting him find someone who’s actually into him. Let’s face it Alysha, if you’d been madly in love with AJ – or if he hadn’t killed that loving feeling with his clinginess or jealousy – you’d never have played tonsil hockey with Logan. (Why do I feel like I’m in an episode of Vanderpump Rules?)
The pros and cons list is a good tactic, but seeing it all written down kinda leaves you with nowhere to hide. And I reckon if you’re at the point where you want to write a pros and cons list about two guys, you’ve pretty much made your decision. Taking more time is just prolonging the inevitable – so as nicely as you can, tell AJ it’s over. Then you’ll be free to see if this thing you have with Logan has legs.
Love, reality chick