I’m torn between two guys. How do I choose?

I’m torn between two guys. How do I choose?

eggs love triangle2

My boyfriend AJ and I have been together for two months and I really care about him, but the feelings aren’t the same (due to his jealousy and clinginess). And, on Halloween I ended up kissing my friend Logan, who I really like. I told my boyfriend about it because I couldn’t lie to him, but he just begged me not to leave and told me he loved me.

I told him I need time, but I don’t know what to do and he wants me to pick him, but Logan wants me to pick him and I’m so torn. I made two pros and cons lists, one for AJ and one for Logan, and Logan had more pros and AJ had more cons. I don’t want to hurt AJ, but I want Logan. How do I do this and not hurt either of them? Alysha

There’s no way to do this without hurting AJ. And if you’ve got the hots for Logan, shielding AJ from that or trying to maintain a relationship in a big fat bubble of denial is worse than cutting the guy loose and letting him find someone who’s actually into him. Let’s face it Alysha, if you’d been madly in love with AJ – or if he hadn’t killed that loving feeling with his clinginess or jealousy – you’d never have played tonsil hockey with Logan. (Why do I feel like I’m in an episode of Vanderpump Rules?)

The pros and cons list is a good tactic, but seeing it all written down kinda leaves you with nowhere to hide. And I reckon if you’re at the point where you want to write a pros and cons list about two guys, you’ve pretty much made your decision. Taking more time is just prolonging the inevitable – so as nicely as you can, tell AJ it’s over. Then you’ll be free to see if this thing you have with Logan has legs.

Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

1 Comment

  1. imastuck 3 years ago

    ive been with guy 1 for nearly eight years. I have 2 children with him. guy 1’s the only guy I’ve truly loved. we have two children together, and we have been through so so so many ups and downs but we always wanted to fix it instead of breaking up. the last three years it went totally down hill and I left him, got myself and the kids another place to stay at hoping eventually he would come to his senses and want to really fix things this time. he did I know he did but it didn’t happen. eventually I thought it would be easier to just let him go for the last time and move on, but about 2 months after that I ran into my ex-husband and we clicked straight away. he is very realistic and real to me. he helped me feel happy to be alive again. I was smiling like I haven’t for a very long time. he is the sweetest guy and most loyal guy I’ve ever known or heard of. sweeter than guy one. well I believe I had fallen for him. one day I told guy 1 he could see the girls. when I saw him he said and did everything he could at the time to show me how much he loved me and wanted me to come back. he didn’t know about guy 2 then. welllllll I really did still have strong feelings for him still and have always wanted things to work between him and I so i left guy2 and stayed with guy1 at his house. after 6 months we were fighting again so i left with the girls, got into emergency housing for 3 months wents back to guy1 because i missed him and still loved him, things got crazy straight away so got back into emergency housing and a month later guy 2 rings me saying he wants me back hes only ever loved me. he took such good care of me and the girls when he was around, he’s the responsible type but he’s such an amazing soul. so sweet would do any thing for you. but know guy 1 says he wants me back and will do anything to fix us. he’s been so sweet and kind and i know things have to change with him or else he will have bigger problems then just losing his family. now i have 2 sweet guys that want me to take them back and i believe im in love with both of them. what on earth do i do.

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