Is there any hope things will improve with the guy I’m dating?

Is there any hope things will improve with the guy I’m dating?
Is there any hope things will improve with the guy I’m dating?

I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of months. I know he’s going through a lot with his kids and his ex is fighting him for custody but our communication has gone from good to nothing. Now we only communicate when I text or call or ask if I can spend the night with him (probably every third or fourth night). Today he told me that, only for this week, he only wants me there physically and that emotionally I’m a lot to deal with. But he also tells me he loves me and I do love him. Anon

Words are cheap and to be honest I’m not seeing a lot of honest-to-god love emanating from this guy’s camp. Someone who makes you do all the running around, who makes zero effort to contact you and who is cool with you swinging by for a shag so long as you don’t kill the buzz with those icky, high maintenance emotions of yours is not someone I’d be setting aside a heck of a lot of time for. But that’s just me.

I get that it was probably good in the beginning and that you’re hanging on to that memory, and hoping he’ll return to being that guy. We’ve all been there. And sure, maybe he has been overwhelmed by an impending divorce or custody complications. And maybe those things mean he’s just not ready to invest in something with you. That’s why I feel that, two months in, all signs are telling you to walk. And if you absolutely can’t make a clean break, tell him you’re taking yourself out of the equation to give him space to get his life sorted – and if he does that and wants something real when he has time to put into it, to give you a call. But don’t settle for crumbs. You deserve the whole cake.

Love, reality chick

Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. Lisa 4 years ago

    I get the feeling if she has to ask, if she has to write the letter, she knows she needs to break it off. Good luck to her, and may she not get hooked up with an injured man again.

    • Author

      I agree Lisa. So many letters like here are like that – the person just needs to hear it from someone else. I hope she’s doing okay!

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