I used to have a friend who’d routinely book Brazilian appointments for me, while I’d routinely cancel them. She was pro-Braz; I was anti anything that involved wax and/or pain anywhere near my privates. She swore it would change my life. I said I had a year’s worth of Nair to use up. She promised that all guys were into it. I asked my boyfriend at the time who didn’t seem to care either way, and so I continued to live in many years of blissful, depilatoried ignorance, punctuated by the occasional but traumatising pre-holiday bikini wax. Until yesterday, when I decided it was high time to stop being a chicken and find out what all the fuss was about.
I deliberately made an afternoon appointment – because, wine. I guzzled a glass before I got there and another when I arrived. My beautician offers wine as a matter of course and I will say, if there’s one beauty treatment that you really want to be off your face for it’s this one. She gave me an extra large glass and I could’ve kissed her (but I didn’t, because kissing someone you don’t know who’s about to brutally rip all the hair out of your nether regions is probably a bit wrong).
Brazilians are confronting. To the point where a (good) beautician will be pressing her hands to your newly-waxed vulva to help numb the pain. Worse, you actually have to lift your butt cheek towards the end for them to WAX YOUR ARSE. (Bet no one tells you that bit). Pain-wise, it’s like applying a blow torch to all the nerve endings that are usually only used for pleasure. Seriously, if you’re not lying there swearing loudly and thinking, ‘WTF, WTF, WTF, what am I doing here?!’ at every moment of rippage you have a way higher pain threshold than I do. I will say, though, that the results are kind of, almost worth it. Like going through childbirth and getting a baby at the end of it, my hoo-ha’s reward for all that pain and suffering was that it never looked so good in its life. So much so, I hurried home to give it a porn star name and admire it in a hand mirror.
What’s your take on The Big B? If you’re a girl, is it worth it? And if you’re a guy, does it drive you to distraction, or are you all for a little hair down there?