I am a very shy girl. I stress out a lot and I worry about my pimples and I’m so uncomfortable around boys. I want a social life but I don’t know how to get it! I don’t know how to talk to people. I worry that my conversation style is totally lame.
I also worry that if I start a conversation they’ll think I’m trying to get attention or something, which is why I don’t start conversations first. Maybe I fear of being stuck in a conversation and not continuing it just because I don’t know what to say. Please help, I’m totally stressed out by this. Haddie
Reality Chick says… I couldn’t stop thinking of Miranda while I was reading your letter, hence the pic. If you’re not familiar with the show, get hold of Series 1 on DVD and watch it immediately. The whole show revolves around Miranda’s shyness, her penchant for falling over and flashing her undies, and most importantly, not being able to talk to Tom, the big spunk she’s in love with.
We’ve all been there to some degree and Dr Phil says it all when he advises you to put yourself out there. Talking to guys is all about practice and the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it.
Manswers Man Dr Phil says… Being a shy Catholic guy I spent most of my youth worried what to say to girls. It was fine once I got talking to them but getting to that point was a painstaking road of trial and error. I remember how intense things are when you’re young, but let me give it to you straight: guys spend most of their lives chasing girls and would welcome a girl approaching them.
Self confidence is a factor, I know – but just be yourself and remember that guys aren’t really that different to you. Once you summon up the courage to approach or be approached, just take things from there. You won’t know if you don’t try! I know it’s easier said than done – we’ve all been there and nervousness can really get on top of you – but it really is about swallowing that fear and putting yourself out there. Maybe there’s an activity or two you could attend where you’ll meet boys and there’ll be common ground stuff to talk about; anything from art classes, acting classes, rock climbing, the gym even. Good luck and remember, fortune favours the brave!