MANSWERS: My boyfriend hates that I’ve hooked up before him

MANSWERS: My boyfriend hates that I’ve hooked up before him

MANSWERS: My boyfriend hates that I've hooked up before him

I’ve been with my boyfriend for more than a year now. We went to the same high school and officially got together at the end of our senior year. Before knowing him, I’ve done stuff, excluding home run, with other guys at school. Being in the same high school, words and gossips started spreading and clearly he heard of them.

He pursued me anyway and here I am typing away on your website. He couldn’t get over my past of hooking up with others and this topic contributes to most of our arguments. He will say things like, ‘If we have a future together, I’ll still bag the shit out of you because that’s the only way to make me feel better’. What should I do? Anon

Manswers Man Dr Phil says… Blokes tend to be jealous when they’re younger, and usually grow out out of it or grow up with time (or not). However, it’s not overnight and not without a lot of heartache and pain both inflicted and received. The fact that you grew up together in the same school probably doesn’t help matters. Most couples gradually learn about their respective past and don’t usually hear about it second hand (and possibly exaggerated).

The last part of your email about him wanting to bag the shit out of you because that’s the only way it make him feel better seems to emphasise what I said at the beginning: he’s got to work it out of his system. The question is are you willing to be an emotional punchbag in the hope that he’ll grow up some time soon?

Manswers Man BB says… Your bloke is being ridiculous. What you did or didn’t do before you guys got together is no one else’s business, and if your bloke can’t handle this then maybe he needs to save himself for the next virgin that more than likely won’t come along. You can’t change the past and nor should you need to. If you really want to stay with him he needs to stop giving you a hard time.


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

1 Comment

  1. Wacky 4 years ago

    Dump him and run. No partner should think they’re justified in bagging the shit out of you no matter what you have or haven’t done.

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