In this week’s quickies update we counsel a mum worried about her husband hanging with the mother’s group – and answer a reader who didn’t like our advice! We also give tips to a gal who’s new in town and help another RC letter-writer concerned about her boyfriend’s bad money habits. Got a question for us? Don’t be shy, we’d love to help. Simply email your problem to firstname.lastname@example.org or visit the Question Box if you’d rather stay anonymous.
Jealous of my house husband
My partner and I recently ‘swapped’ roles. I’m back at full-time work, and he’s looking after our two-year-old. The problem is, he’s now best buddies with my mother’s group. I can’t help but be jealous of all the female attention he’s getting! Caitlin
Wait a minute? You’re complaining about a man taking over the care of a small, snotty, demanding toddler with a smelly backside and a penchant for watching TV shows featuring pinkyponks and ninkynonks? Sorry doll, but he’s going to need the support of fellow child wranglers, even if they are chicks. Tuck that green monster back under the bed and help him adjust to a new way of life.
[This question was originally published in NW Magazine, and prompted the response, below.]
WOW! I can’t help but to comment on the response that poor Caitlin received (NW, May 30, 2011). She wasn’t complaining about the role reversal, she was concerned that her husband is now best friends with a group of females while she is off working! It’s not normal. How many married ladies do you know that have a close group of friends that are all male? I didn’t think that I would ever see such a heartless response to someone that obviously needs support from an outside party. NT
You’re right. Perhaps I was a little blunt. But that is the RC way. We like to be supportive, but we never pull any punches with our advice. And often we use humour to make a point. Sometimes that makes us seem heartless, but we actually care about our readers. You’re right though – a man hanging out with a group of women at a playgroup with his child isn’t the norm. And it does take a confident woman not to let it bother her. Perhaps it would help Caitlin to remember there’s no romance attached to those frantic coffee dates at the park or meet ups at grimy softplay centres. Being a parent is a workplace too. Mostly, what I wanted to convey was that if you have a solid, trusting relationship, your partner spending time with the opposite sex shouldn’t be a big issue. And that goes for men too. Lots of chicks work with blokes all day long – especially in male dominated fields like IT, mining or engineering.
New in town and lonely
I’m new to this State. How will I ever meet someone? I don’t know where to go and online dating isn’t for me. Please help! FindingLove
Being the new girl in town bites, but you’ve got to roll the dice and put yourself out there, chicken. Madwomen.com.au run ‘good cause’ single events in Sydney and Melb and free local papers often have ideas too. Remember, however tempted you are to hide at home in your PJs watching re-runs of Sex In The City, it’s the worst way we know to meet new peeps.
Is he a good bet financially?
My boyfriend and I are about to move in together but his money habits worry me. He has always has credit cards maxed out and numerous fines to pay, and he loves buying things on interest-free deals. Help! Sally, via email
You’re right to worry. His money habits could end up dragging you both down – especially if you become serious enough to enter into bigger purchases like a mortgage, where your credit ratings will be scrutinised. Make it clear that you want to sort this out before you shack up, and visit a financial planner who can help you both set a budget and give your guy a nudge in the right direction.