I had friends I met through my ex. But when my ex dumped me out of the blue by text after a year, the friends cut me off. WTF?! Did I do the right thing by not saying anything? It felt like double betrayal to be ditched by them when I needed support. Should I make contact and ask them why they did it? Meg
To be honest, I’m thinking no. They’re cowardly but by their actions you know where their loyalties lie, and putting them on the spot about it will probably a) result in awkward and unsatisfying explanations and b) leave you looking a bit desperate and fruit-loopy. I get why contacting them is your first instinct but you’re riding an emotional rollercoaster right now – and this is probably the worst time to make contact with people who have the power to make you feel even worse.
I know a year may seem like a lifetime when you’re in a relationship, but these weren’t your lifelong friends. They were his friends, no matter how close you became to them or whether he deserves to walk away with them or not. Chances are, they still like you and if they’re decent people, possibly feel really shitty about what’s gone down and how your ex ended things. But friendship dynamics can be funny things and people will do a lot to stay within their inner circle, even if it means behaving reprehensibly. Plus, it’s an undisputable fact of human nature that when the chips are down and a relationship ends, people often side with the friend they knew first.
Bottom line? You don’t need your ex and you certainly don’t need his two-faced mates. Even if you have to fake it at first, walk away with dignity and your head held high, because if anyone deserves to in this crappy scenario, Meg, it’s you.
Love, reality chick