MANSWERS: My girlfriend did stuff with other guys that she won’t do with me, and it’s eating me up

MANSWERS: My girlfriend did stuff with other guys that she won’t do with me, and it’s eating me up

My girlfriend and I have had a good relationship for seven months, but there is something that bothers me heavily. I can’t stop thinking about her sexual history. It’s not so much that she’s slept with more people than I have, but more that she’s done things with them that she won’t do with me.

I looked for some tips on this site to see if someone has the same problem but can’t find anything that’s exactly the same. It irritates that she doesn’t want to do something with me that she already did with another guy. I just can’t break up with her because I really like her a lot, but it’s eating me up and she won’t listen to me about it. Please help me! I’d like a Manswer too. Maikel 

True story: I tied a cord to my feet and jumped off a bridge in New Zealand when I was 25. Was it a thrill? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Not really, given my heart rate was 200 beats per minute, my veins nearly popped out of my forehead and I was completely terrified. Was I talked into it by a cute guy who wanted to do it too? Yes, most definitely. My point here is that maybe your girlfriend feels the same way about her sexual past. She may not have enjoyed or wanted to repeat some of those acts you’re so bothered by. Maybe, like my bungy jump, she felt glad to leave those reckless moments of abandon in the past and not go there with you. It’s not a reflection on you. It might just be she knows more what she likes and wants in bed and it’s not those things and she’s happy to own that.

Love, reality chick

Manswers Man Timmy says“Maikel, hopefully you know about this because you’ve had a healthy, open discussion about it. Without knowing the, ahem, ins and outs, it’s fairly likely she’s moved on from certain practices that don’t float her boat anymore or that she might now find humiliating, degrading, painful or risky. Consider that, and try get to a point where you value the relationship so much, whatever you’re ‘missing out on’ pales in comparison.”

Manswers Man Dr Phil says… “Maybe talking about it isn’t the answer. Maybe a suggestion / action in bed / in the heat of the moment is the way forwards rather than discussing it – especially as she won’t hear about it. It will take some bravery but that way you’ll either get what you want, or you’ll force the issue and maybe get an answer as to why she doesn’t want to do whatever with you.”

Manswers Man Mr E says… “The real question is, how do you know she did these things? Has she told you? If you heard it from your friends then maybe you need to ask them if it’s really true. Boys like to boast and sometimes the beers get the better of us, so a little embellishment might be causing you to think too hard about something which never actually happened. Then again, if she has told you, then maybe she is holding back because she doesn’t want to scare you off. Giving her the time to feel comfortable with you might be all it takes. Sometimes we tell people things early in relationships because we want to sound more appealing but the reality can be very different. I don’t know how old you and your girlfriend are, but people also change over time and things that you do when you’re younger will invariably fill you with horror when you are older. Maybe she also has regrets about her past, and if thats the case the best thing you can do is forget about what you heard. You say that you like her a lot. Well, maybe you need to ask yourself if you are staying with her hoping that she will do the things you have heard about rather than because you love her. You say that you can’t break up with her, but I suspect that you maybe shouldn’t even be with her if this the reason for a possible break up.”

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the RC Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)
Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. Joel 4 years ago

    Rubbish all of it. She doesn’t do it because it is a female values system at play. She won’t do the things of the past because she believes it will de-value her in your eyes even though it doesn’t. Same reason women lie about how many people they have slept with. This is female relationship move. On one hand it’s great because it means she likes you but on the other hand she’s not being truthful to you. All women will do this. Let me be very clear my friend you are not going to get the good girlfriend sex from this woman anymore which she probably lured you in with because you’ve now been pushed into the beta male provider category. Since the subject is in the open I can only conclude that she used to do some of these things but doesn’t otherwise why would she have told you she used to do something? Seems odd to bring up especially since it would cause the ensuing conflict. Therefore she’s either trying get rid of you or it is what happened when you first met. You’re continued asking will also be categorised as whinging and will cause her to resent you in the long run but if you’re a good emotional provider she’ll use Pavlovian tactics to train you by withdrawing sex and providing it and as a behaviour reinforcer thereby keeping the upper hand in the relationship, because you’re continued need to get a fuck is your downfall. In short my friend, get out now or start calling her on her shit and stop fucking her.

  2. Actual Nice Guy 4 years ago

    It’s really simple.

    You two are NOT sexually compatible, and she clearly doesn’t care.
    Leave her and find someone who makes YOU happy.

  3. Ht 5 years ago

    I made a mistake when I met my wife by not pushing her to do more stuff in bed and listening to her bullshit about how she doesn’t like this or that. Fast forward 10 years and realities set in about how I set the bar too low in the beginning when I could’ve probably got further. Now she won’t do anal, or much of anything and yes..sexual variety is important to me so I’m looking for something on the side. Take this as a wake-up call all of you prude wives. If hes not happy in bed he’s gonna cheat because there’s always some lonely slut out there who will do what you won’t.

    • Mr. Lucid 4 years ago

      First of all let’s take a look at who you’re asking. You don’t ask women for advice when it comes to dating unless you’re asking about Valentine’s Day Christmas and their birthday and don’t forget anniversaries. Meaning emotional stuff…stuff that deals with their psyche. If you need answers for what’s going on and somebody that’s been out there that’s ran the streets and fucked a lot of pussy. Excuse me for being vulgar. You are being cheated on. Your woman is playing you so badly it is ridiculous. There’s no way that she can sleep next to you and after you have sex with her she just turns over and rolls away and you can’t basically do the natural things that you want to…she’s cheating on you. If you don’t believe me just ask her flat out and watch her gets super angry. Your next step from there is take a day off work…just take one day off work and follow her. Yes it sounds creepy and they’ll be some people that tell you your creepy, but fuck them. Because once you have your heart broken you now have more baggage and Luggage than women want to deal with. Get tough man because if you do not do something about it now you’re going to be broken hearted and it’s going to come down like an avalanche of shit on you.

    • Mr. Lucid 4 years ago

      You know I was reading that story that you wrote and had to take a second… take a pause and think about it. Then I decided to comment. First you’re an asshole. Second you are a dumb fucking asshole. Third well I don’t have to say anything cuz you already know it’s coming. Your behavior is the reason why men are touted cheaters and players. When you decided to get married.. when you decided on that one piece of pussy.. when you decide to put that ring on you also decided to a commitment to be loyal. Your loyalty has no bearing. Just like most people in this world you do not understand the true meaning of loyalty. Yes there are hoes out there that will do anything that we want. But you chose differently now you better work through it and be a real man. You can call me any kind of name you want to after you read my comment but I’m married and I would never cheat never. And I’ve had more pussy than most pornstars. Have a good day dickhead..

  4. Lee 5 years ago

    My fiancée and I live together and we are planning our wedding. We both have had exes. I have a child through one of my 2 relationships. I have had a couple of casual liaisons with work colleagues. She has had several boyfriends and other lovers. She still has photos in our house of ex boyfriends and of lads she has kissed and there is one of her in bed with a holiday lad. She insists it is innocent (they are skimpily clothed). When I have got a bit upset about this and asked why she still has them, she says she never throws anything away and gets quite aggressive threatening to end our relationship.
    I think I have finally come to terms with the photos issue….the boxes are in the loft. What I really struggle with is that she doesn’t like to kiss me. She will not kiss me passionately ie French kissing/necking. She did at first. I believe that she has kissed like this with previous boyfriends as well as one nighters in clubs. She has told me that in fact.
    I have seen very sexy photos of her dressed up for a night out and sense that she was quite a flirt before she met me.
    We used to have exciting, adventurous sex early on in the relationship but now I feel as if she is going through the motions with me. She never initiates it apart from more recently because we want to try for a baby.

    Even when we have sex she does not want any foreplay and almost turns away when I go to kiss her. She wants the sex over and done with quickly as well. She had been like that for about 2 years. We have been together 4.

    She once admitted to me that she once had a threesome with a man and woman mainly kissing and touching the woman. I didn’t really dwell on that but now with the kissing issue I am starting to wonder whether it’s not simply that she doesn’t fancy me anymore but that she may have had more than the one experience of a woman.

    I feel so upset with not being able to passionately kiss the most beautiful, sexy woman I have ever met or seen. I feel as if I would rather live without her than with her unable to be with her so lovingly and intimately.

    I would love some advice please.

    • Mark 5 years ago

      All red flags. She’s a player and you’re about to get screwed. Move on before you get her pregnant. She doesn’t have integrity. It’s hard to leave but you have to be a man and be strong. It’s the only way she’ll respect you. And when she sees she can’t have you, she’ll want you, but you know she has no integrity, so leave with her wanting you and your head held high.

      • Bob 3 years ago

        Hi. She’s left me. No wedding day kiss. No honeymoon love. No 1sr anniversary love. Bizarre.

    • Hot Zone 5 years ago

      To what you said I think you are a man that know what he want and what he need… In my experience girls love to kiss more than even I do to be honest if they are into you they want to kiss you all the time and every chance they get because you are the one they want to be with. You said it she kisses random strangers after a few drinks and flirts with guys but the person she been with for four years she can’t bare to kiss or put in the effort anymore but just wanting to push out babies…

      Don’t settle down with this broad run out the door she doesn’t deserve to be married I mean what the hell you going to expect things to suddenly turn around… Start getting better after you are married? Well maybe you going to have 1-3 weeks of amazing honeymoon sex if lucky at best but what things go back to how she doesn’t even want to kiss you stage? I’m only replying because you are a man in the Manaswers section looking for real man advice and not something you going to get from your mum or aunt so that my manly advice to be a man sometimes that making hard choices in life don’t ever think for one second she the only beautiful amazing woman out there…

      And more than half of them will gladly suck your face off kissing you as much as you want if you are serious and committed in a relationship because so many guy players out there just as so many girl players just complicated but love is exactly that complicated don’t set roots into something that giving you doubts already. If you are hitting all of her check box and she had her fun put in the work and she looking to settle down in a marriage push out a few kids, become a nun then close down for business what are you seriously left with?

      I’ll tell you mistresses, escorts, hookers, second/third girlfriend she finding out which she will and guess what I don’t know how much money or asset you got she taking half of that guess what she got a kid now have fun with child payments… Come on just open up a bit realize what happening and act on it no girl is going to tell you what is what you got to make up choices in life yourself.

    • Lee 4 years ago

      I posted a message 10 months ago. Sorry to say fellas that I didn’t take your advice. I got married. Things have got worse. We have no physical contact now. She is just not interested in me at all. I am starting to think that she is having an affair. Getting married was the best day of my life. Now I regret it.

  5. Opensource1111 5 years ago

    I think some of the female posters here may not be hearing what the guys are saying. If a woman loves a man, wouldn’t it make sense that she would want to make her man happy? So what if it’s something she’s not crazy about? You do it for your man, so he knows he is the MOST important partner she has ever had. It’s not difficult to comprehend. Some women will do certain things they are not fond of at the beginning of a relationship just to please her partner, but then when she feels more secure, she will feel more confident in saying no. While I can understand the rationale, that behaviour is selfish, deceitful, and doesn’t jive with the whole concept of loving someone. Wouldn’t you do MORE for someone you loved than someone you didn’t?? If your man is telling you certain acts are important to him, and you’ve already done them with a past partner who was presumably not as important to her as the current, what the woman is effectively saying is you’re just not that important to me. Guys go out of their way to make a woman feel like there is no other woman more important. Guys don’t like buying flowers or remembering gifts etc, but we do it for our partners. Woman should take a lesson.

    • Al 5 years ago

      Okay let’s just flip this argument for a second OpenSource because I am having trouble comprehending. I’d bet you a million bucks if a woman had always had a massive pegging fetish (ie, using a strap-on on a guy) and her current boyfriend wasn’t into it that there wouldn’t be a snowball’s chance in hell that he would agree to do it, and regularly. Simply to make her happy and make her feel like the most important partner he’d ever had.

      Or am I wrong? Would a guy who hated the idea of being penetrated regularly by a dildo agree to do it and try to put a smile on his face simply because all her previous partners had agreed and it was important to her? I seriously doubt it. #doublestandards

      • Dre 5 years ago

        Al, that’s not an analogous comparison.

        The guy would refuse the strap on thing because that’s not something he EVER did for anyone else. In the original post, the guy was upset because his gf did that stuff for PREVIOUS men.

        It’s not as if the guy had gotten anal sex from his previous girlfriends, and his current gf refused…

      • Guru84 5 years ago

        Not the same, if it had been the man who’d let a past partner ride him with a strap on then refused this to the new partner whom was very fond of this then that would be the same. The difference is that in one instance you have the male who is against it but has let no one do this ever before so it is a clear no no to a male that has tried this before so has had thoughts or was taken into this so you would expect this male to try again or discuss why he doesn’t want to do it.

        Me on the other hand, I would give it a go. I hate the very thought of it but if my partner genuinely thought this a turn on and really wanted to try it then I’d have to oblige. I think far to many couples are to held back with either or both feeling embarrassed or afraid of experimenting falling into the spiral of repitition.

    • taylor 5 years ago

      Exactly my thoughts!

  6. SpaceCowby43 5 years ago

    A woman can (and will) come up with every BS explanation they can think of for not letting themselves go sexually with their husbands/boyfriends like they have with other (usually, most) men in their past, BUT the cold reality is that the clear message they send to you by refusing to engage in their previous wild sex acts is “YOU ARE NOT MAN ENOUGH OR WORTHY OF ME HAVING SEX LIKE THAT WITH YOU”. You are a fool if you believe that she doesn’t realize she is sending that message. She will also rage to the rafters that she was the perfect wife when you eventually get tired enough of her sexual head games to leave her for any reasonably attractive woman that is, not only agreeable, but eager to do all the things with you sexually that you now-ex did with everybody EXCEPT you. I know. It’s stupid. But, these are the crazy head games that women in our society play. It is also one of the key factors that make divorce lawyers so wealthy.

  7. michael 5 years ago

    Same thing here. A pissed off former lover called me after she dumped him. They were having anal and she initiated it. She never did it with me and in an earlier relationship they had regular anal sex. She told me she never liked it in the first relationship but apparently she had to try again. It does bother me since she tell me she will leave out something that she desperatly wants. We have been married 14 yrs and I will give her a few month to accept anal a few times with me. But I will not let her mindfuck and pervert our relationship any longer. She knows that I am close to leave and she is devestated. She started the game now she have to complete it or Ill find someone new.

    • SpaceCowby43 5 years ago

      Stick to your guns! You are definitely correct that she is just playing these mind games with you to sexually entertain herself.

  8. rawr 6 years ago

    Leave as soon as you find another woman. You’re just a placeholder and she doesn’t find you attractive enough to do the shit she did for other men. Why are you paying for a bitch who’s treating you like you’re her second choice? She should be doing shit with you she’s done to no other man and will do with no other man. Man The fuck up you’re getting a raw deal.

  9. Husbandshouldbenumber1 7 years ago

    I asked my wife “why aren’t we kinky like u & your ex?” Excuses abound: “I was younger(2 years?!)” “I was taking xanax”(she had told me before that it killed her drive, I cited that, she amended and said it “made her pliable”).

    Which is it? It’s long been said that women associate sex with love, but that may have been cultural(though more oxytocin is produced after orgasm), but it may be better said that they require more bonds before sex than men- more, but not a large amount, not love.

    I also hear that men associate sex with love more, but that means men will do the romantic things-that men don’t naturally appreciate-that women want, in gratitude, though they don’t require much bond beforehand. Women should understand its importance to men, but should ask why it has to be remembered instead of felt. If it is true that women ramp up sexuality in order to get the gratitude from an aloof partner, as an exciting challenge, but don’t in a committed relationship, that’s sad. This is absolutely a reason men shouldn’t commit. Women marry men hoping things will change, men want more of her.

    • Husbandshouldbenumber1 7 years ago

      I forgot the most telling excuse: “it’s different when in love.” Men beware!

      • Husbandshouldbenumber1 7 years ago

        I should say that I’ve had the best sex I’ve ever had with her, but her saying that it’s not the craziest for her is so backwards. I can’t believe this blog’s author would even post

        “We girls sometimes feel a bit differently about sex, once we’re in love. Meet the man of our dreams and funnily enough, we don’t want to be ‘that girl that can do #346 of the Karma Sutra’. We want to keep things a little more romantic and lovely and a little less, ‘sure, pass me the occy straps and the lube, I’m up for anything’.”

        It’s such an egregious statement that I want to start a campaign to tell every man I know to never marry and point to this admission of the deception of what commitment will get you.

        • Paula 7 years ago

          Okay, I’ll bite.

          The key word in that statement is SOMETIMES.

          Just like there are women out there who SOMETIMES feel this way once they meet the guy they want to settle down with, there are also women at the opposite end of the spectrum. YES REALLY……….

          Women who are all for experimentation only to end up with guys who aren’t into kinky shit they may like – which happens too. Not all guys are up for anything, strange as that may seem to you. I am a case in point, my partner’s not into stuff I did with previous lovers and would love to do with him. According to him he has tried said stuff with HIS previous lovers and it didn’t do it for him so that’s that.

          I know I’m not the only one with a guy like this (women talk don’t you know) but what do you suggest – should I be shitty and whiny about it 24/7? Make him feel bad? Or is it possible that I can judge our relationship’s value based on the big picture rather than the bits I’m not getting? Is it possible to try for understanding and acceptance and realise people are different, have different wants and needs, and/or (like in your case) that sexual proclivities may change for a multitude of reasons, rather than taking it as a personal affront? Or should I twist myself into a fucking pretzel about it and feel all rageful that he tried these things with other women, didn’t like them, but should still do them with me especially if I’m supposedly the love of his life? Maybe you do. But I’m not about to force someone I love into doing something in bed they’re not comfortable with (even if I really want it – because that’s the biggest turn off of all, knowing they’re doing it and not into it). And I’m not about to make him feel bad about it. Cos I’m not a total dickhead.

          And another thing. if you’ve had the ‘best sex’ you’ve ever had with her, why are you so bitter and making out you’ve got a totally bum deal? I don’t get it. Is the kinky shit you’re missing all that your marriage means to you? Do you really feel so betrayed and deceived and regretful about marrying her? How would she feel reading your comment above? It would probably hurt her deeply. But start your campaign by all means. FFS.

          • Husbandshouldbenumber1 7 years ago

            It is very different to hear I tried something and didn’t like it, or “it hurt” than to hear it’s different because of the nature of our arrangement, which is supposed to be the gold standard. Men want to be wanted, not just loved. I’m not into forcing anything either, and if I were your husband I would try to make you think I was into it. Women should do the same, just like men buy flowers, cards, jewelry, even though that’s meaningless to them.

          • Husbandshouldbenumber1 7 years ago

            Also what does it mean to “not want to be the girl…”…that phrasing sounds like a perception, a reputation thing, not an appropriate concern for a private relationship.

            And it is absolutely possible to judge based on other parts of the relationship, just understand that for men sex is a huge part(men: 25% romance, communication, 75% sex, women: the reverse). So, if there’s a mediocre score in that area as a result of missing bits, it affects a larger part of the view of the relationship.

  10. rrr 7 years ago

    “You really like her a lot. If you break up over something like this, you’re a douche.”

    What a terrible and unnecessary judgment to pass on. Everyone can break up at any stage of a relationship they want, if they aren’t satisfied with it, any effort to make it better have failed and there is no hope for change. Actually, latter two aren’t even needed, though they may be a good idea if you care about someone.

    If it were me in OP’s shoes and I actually cared, I’d start wondering why I did, and if I shouldn’t stop.

  11. TheReality 8 years ago

    The Reality of the situation is that the girl is more naive about what it means to be in a mutual relationship, which means she’s more willing to do anything to keep that relationship going. So, if you’re dating a girl who tells you about taking it up the ass previously, most likely she was doing so to do whatever it took to keep that previous relationship going. Granted it might suck to hear these things, because most likely if she was under the impression that taking it up the ass was something she needed to do not because she was curious, but because she felt she had to, then you’re pretty much screwed at this point.

    Of course I say this with personal experience. I dated a girl on and off for a year, and I was batting third (not to sound crude) in her sexual history. The first guy knocked it out of the park on the first pitch, so you can imagine that there was not much else to see after that. Pretty much everything you would want to do to your girlfriend was done to her. Video taped, public sex, anal, the works, so when you hear about these things you expect similar accommodations, or at least an attempt to make you feel like you’re more important. Granted I did have sex with her on her mothers desk, while her father was asleep on the couch, and various other public locations, but anal was never on the table. There were conversations, but it all ended up boiling down to the fact that this douche bag, that was her first, had a special status.

    It didn’t take long to realize that even after a year of breaking up with this guy that cheated on her with her best friend, still had her wrapped around his little finger. Conversations were had, resentment followed, and the relationship ended. Eventually she ended up fucking him at least 10+ more times (possibly a 3 way with his bisexual gf at the time), and that was that.

    The moral of the story is that love is great, all healthy relationships are built off of love, understanding, trust, and communication. That being said you will be hard pressed to find any of those wonderful relationships with someone who is unwilling talk about things that interest you sexually. Despite what some might say, fucking is an important part of a relationship. I’m not talking about looking into your partners eyes as you kiss and slowly thrust away, I’m talking about hair pulling, ass smacking fucking like Jesus himself is about to come back to Earth any minute, so you better get your kicks while you can.

    There was obviously a part of her that was willing to do anything for someone she loved, so unless there was some issue with forced anal sex, then there shouldn’t be a problem with taking one for the team.

  12. Author
    reality chick 9 years ago

    I’m loving your insights GalaxyGirl! 🙂

    • GalaxyGirl 9 years ago

      Thanks Reality Chick! I’ve been around the block a few times… he he 🙂

  13. ray 9 years ago

    My girlfriend has done things with her ex that she wont do with me she says that it put her threw to much physical pain and frankly I was never all that interested in the sexual act itself, my problem is that the ex she did it with is now her bestfriend ( nothing inappropriate) and I feel outdone and powerless im unsure of how to feel that I’m not outdone

    • GalaxyGirl 9 years ago

      I don’t understand why you would feel outdone when she said she was put through pain and did not like it. You really think that outdoes you? I would think completely the opposite. Women separate sex and love and men seem to tie them together a lot more. Just because she tried something in the past does not mean she loved that person more or felt more comfortable with them or they were better than you etc etc. It was something she tried coz she didn’t know beforehand whether she would like it or not and now she knows. Personally I would be grateful NOT to be the person who put my partner through something uncomfortable and happy to have someone who knows exactly where they are at sexually.

      • FrustratedGuy 7 years ago

        “It was something she tried coz she didn’t know beforehand whether she would like it or not and now she knows”

        That’s a load of rubbish. What is really being said is…

        “It was something she tried coz she didn’t know beforehand whether she would like it or not (WITH HIM) and now she knows (WHAT IT IS LIKE WITH HIM)”

        Sorry for being blunt, but just because your order is wrong at Mc Donalds doesn’t mean Burger King will make the same mistake.

        Some guys are worse than others, Some guys are gentle some or forceful, some are fast some are slow, that experience the girl had will not be the same.

        Using anal as an example… Maybe the ex didn’t use lube, maybe he didn’t work the mood up, maybe he didn’t provide clitoral stimulation properly to keep her aroused, maybe he did it while she was busting to take a dump!!

        If a girl wont do certain sexual acts to you that she has done to others, then shes a selfish bitch IMO…

        I’ll gladly do whatever i’ve done in the past with the one i love, but because i love her more than my past i’ll try my best to out do myself… why cant some women think the same way… grrr this is irritating me..

  14. Zombie Flanders 9 years ago

    ‘We girls sometimes feel a bit differently about sex, once we’re in love. Meet the man of our dreams and funnily enough, we don’t want to be ‘that girl that can do #346 of the Karma Sutra’. We want to keep things a little more romantic and lovely and a little less, ‘sure, pass me the occy straps and the lube, I’m up for anything’.’

    I’m not trying to sound like a jerk, but I bet this is the number one reason why guys don’t want to commit, and even when they do, they still cheat. The fact is for many guys, sex is very important and we like someone who is enthusiastic and adventurous. Besides, that logic is ass backwards anyway. How would most women feel if a guy decided to be less romantic with you than his ex-girlfriends because you are the love of his life?

    • GalaxyGirl 9 years ago

      I think you have it turned around. Women like things MORE romantic with the love of their life not less. The difference is the interpretation of that romance. You said guys like adventurous and enthusiastic love makers – I couldn’t agree more!! But that is NOT romance. That is sex. Plain and simple. Nothing wrong with that by the way, but as soon as guys with similar attitudes to you realise that sex is not the equivalent of romance but a small part of it (along with a lot of women realising that sex is also a part of romance and to a lot of ppl the romance is not “completed” without sex) then we’d all be so much closer to being on the same boat.

      • rrr 7 years ago

        Except great and passionate sex would make for a nice incentive to commit.

        Many girls have it backwards, when they think guys would not take them seriously after crazy sex. I SURELY wouldn’t take seriously any girl, who claims to have had crazy sex with others, but was somehow holding back with me.

    • Josnick 8 years ago

      Music to my ears my friend!!! I don’t understand why woman always do that?? I’m in the same situation with my gf. She and her ex had great anal sex but she won’t with me. Based on what I’ve read, women do change their “kinky mode” depending on how in love or in lust they are with their man. WHICH IS FUCKING STUPID!!! My advice is…if she won’t do it then some other girl will. And all the women will say “what a creep” but if you really understood a man then you would know why doing something with your ex (that you said you really liked and got off very hard to) and not doing it with your current bf (even though your current bf penis is smaller) is in womens terms kinda like not having as big and nice of a wedding and honey moon as you did with your exwife, even though you loved everything about the wedding and honey moon with your exwife…..women, PLEASE put yourself in our shoes and think for a min when it comes to the sex stuff.

  15. kitty 10 years ago

    Ooh. Lovely to have all the manswers! I love Timmy’s answer, it’s so spot on in every respect. Yay Timmy!

  16. Lola 10 years ago

    Maikel, I understand that you may feel… obsessed about your beloved’s past sex life, but having been “on the receiving end” of such obsession, consider this: is sex all there is to a human being, in this case your girlfriend? I was married to a guy that used my sexual past to hurt me and to humiliate me. Not nice!

    When it comes to doing certain “stuff” in the sack (or on the kitchen table, or in a lift, or elsewhere), I reckon that you and your significant other have got a great future ahead to try what you haven’t tried yet “a deux”. Ease into your relationship with self-confidence and remember that it’s YOU, YOU, Maikel, who is in a relationship with your lady now, and not anybody else.

    By all means if you need to discuss your feelings about this situation with your girlfriend, do it… BUT ONLY ONCE! Let your body speak in the bedroom afterwards. I believe what you’re going through is more about you than about your love. Relationships can put us in a spot in which our insecurities take centre stage. If you can put a finger on your problem, it’s because the solution is within reach. It was very courageous of you to pour your feelings into words and email them to Reality Chick.

    All the best and take care.

    • clewischri 7 years ago

      See what ppl fail to realize is that most man will be romatic and give and treat a lady how they suppose to be treated but the problem i have with woman is that that they gun whole on there belief of how woman are and when man state an opionion of how man are it like yall wrong us woman well us man the problem is that with man you say u love us we love u u tell us u better lover bf etc soon as we want or even ask u shoot us down quick now what going through an man mind is did u shoot them down like that u can call it ezperimenting all u want but u with me now im your experience now why not experience with the one you want marry have kids with etc

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