My wife and I have been married for 15 years and have two teenagers. I know she has issues with me not being affectionate and our sex life, so things haven’t been great between us for a while. I haven’t done a lot to fix things. But I’ve just found out she’s having an affair with a guy she used to go to school with. She hasn’t moved out, but she is dating him and going out a few nights a week, and he buys her expensive presents. He wants her to leave me. I want to work it out. She doesn’t know what she wants. How do I handle this? I just want my wife back. Greg
Greg! Are you for real?! Grow a pair and tell your wife this is totally unacceptable. She can’t just cruise along with an old high school boyfriend, skipping out on dates, lapping up expensive gifts and sex sessions, when she has a hubby at home. Especially given you haven’t agreed to an open relationship. This just smacks of laziness and apathy on both sides. But you can’t play the victim here, even though you’re being cheated on so brazenly. You’ve been putting your marriage on the backburner for quite some time, haven’t you? You had warnings. Your wife wanted more input, more passion and ideas for spicing up your sex life and getting the spark lit again. But you didn’t listen, did you? You continued to sit in front of the TV, or the computer or whatever, and not chose not to do the hard yards and find solutions to your marital problems. And now look what your wife has done? She’s moved on, and is dating again, without having the grace to break it off with you.
You’re both as bad as each other. It’s bleedingly obvious, but it’s time, for your sake and your teenage kids (who know everything by the way – teenage kids aren’t dumb) that you need to call this what it is – the END of your marriage. Time for you or her to move out, to seek counselling, to work towards living separately for a while as you sort out what (if any) future your relationship has.
Love, reality chick
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