Quickies: Should I go backpacking with my new guy even though he’s not IN love with me? | I fancy her, she fancies my best friend | Why didn’t he propose before leaving for the military? | We can’t be together and he’s now marrying my friend but we still talk about sex

Quickies: Should I go backpacking with my new guy even though he’s not IN love with me? | I fancy her, she fancies my best friend | Why didn’t he propose before leaving for the military? | We can’t be together and he’s now marrying my friend but we still talk about sex

Quickies: A short, sharp dose of RC advice.

RC is asked questions on all topics. Sometimes, the letters sent in inspire an essay (or close). Other times, just a few lines will do – and all those letters are popped into a semi-regular section called quickies. It’s just how it sounds – a short, fast dose of RC advice. Don’t forget, if you need advice from RC or the Manswers team, drop us a line via the Question Box.

Should I go backpacking with my new guy even though he’s not in love with me?
I am a 22 year old student who loves travel and adventure. I’ve been dating this ambitious young man who I have found a good solid foundation with, it’s only been a couple of months. Even before we were serious I was aware of the fact that he was leaving to go to Australia next September, and I told myself whatever happens, happens. He invited me to go with him, however I would only do so if I continue my education there. I know I have deep feelings for him, but I feel as if he has a wall up. He has told me “I have love FOR you but I am not IN love”. That makes me nervous. I’ve always wanted to go to Australia AFTER university, however now I may have this chance but I’m scared of moving halfway around the world for someone who can’t reassure me that we’re solid. Should I take a chance or wait it out? Jessica

Personally I would not be dusting off my backpack for a dude who has ‘love’ for me but isn’t ‘in love’ with me. That’s one hell of an exit clause he’s setting up for himself in the event you do travel together and he decides somewhere along the line that he doesn’t want to be tied down. After two months, it’ll be sad but not devastating to wave him off and get on with your studies. That said, Australia is awesome. I’m biased because I live here, of course, but I would definitely put it on your post-university must-do list.

The girl I like fancies my best friend and keeps talking to me about him. Help!
I REALLY like this girl but she likes my best friend. And now she’s coming to me for support and she tells me how much it hurts that she not being noticed by him! Oh, the irony. What do I do? Josh 

Not much you can do really, other than deflect those painful little pow-wows she wants to keep having about your best mate. You’re not obligated to get your heart smashed every time she wants to strategise about ways to get him to notice her. Your other option is to actually come clean and tell her how you feel about her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained – right?

Why didn’t he propose before going off to military training?
I’ve been in a off and on relationship for seven years, since I was seventeen. Now he’s going off to the military to start his career. I guess I’m wondering why he hasn’t asked me to marry him already. It might just be his personality but I feel like I’m always guessing with us. Sophia 

If it’s been seven years and you want to marry him, it’s time to stop twiddling your thumbs and hoping the stars will align. He can’t read your mind and probably has a lot on HIS mind about the future he’s about to embark on so my advice would be to lay your cards on the table. I know it sucks all the romance out of marriage having to find out if you’re on the same page, rather than just being swept you off your feet with a crazy proposal, but with some blokes it’s the only way. Good luck!

We can’t be together, he’s marrying my best friend, but we still talk about sex…
I am in love with my best friend and he also had some feelings for me. We were physically intimate with each other, but because of some trouble in my family he backed out of having a relationship. Now, he is engaged with one of my friends – but we still talk about sex. I’m confused about what to do. Richa

This is a sad situation all round and I’m very sorry for your heartbreak. However, I do think you need to be the bigger person here. That means stop with the inappropriately sexy conversations and walk away, especially if he is now engaged to marry your friend.


Got a question for RC or the Manswers team? Drop a line in

RC’s Question Box! (Questions may be edited.)
Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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