In our latest quickies update, we’re talking dating woes, spicy sex, hypothetical questions, splitting the stuff and co-worker crushes! Got a question for us – either for our quickies section or any other part of the site? You can email us via email@example.com or visit the Question Box if you’d rather stay anonymous. Don’t forget you can request a Manswer too.
I told a co-worker I fancied him and he ended up on a break from his girlfriend. Nothing happened, they’ve reconciled – but I don’t want to lose him as a friend and we still text etc, which drives his girlfriend crazy. He’s entitled to friends, surely? Anon
Right, so … you stuck your oar in and capsized his relationship once. Now, you’re hanging round to stir the pot in the hope he might ditch her permanently? That’s deluded AND manipulative. Have some integrity and put your efforts into finding guys who are available, for pity’s sake.
Fancy hanky panky? Forget it
My girlfriend is always trying to spice up our sex life. She buys endless toys and lingerie and all of it just leaves me cold. I love sex, but I don’t need all the gizmos, if you know what I mean. Just her naked is more than enough. Am I a boring git? Adam
Not at all – you know what you like, and it’s not whipped cream and handcuffs. But could there be more things out there you DO like that you haven’t tried? Probably. Do your research, write down some turn-ons, get drunk and start over-sharing with your woman. Tricked-up hanky-panky may not be your bag, but with a little effort you guys are sure to find some erotic common ground.
Dude disappearing act
I’ve got a situation with a guy I’ve been dating – he’s just gone AWOL! There’s been no official break up and he didn’t call me or even text. What do I do now? MissDyo
Forget him. He’s an assclown with no manners, and you deserve better.
Over his affairs
My husband’s been cheating throughout our whole relationship. I’ve worn it for our kids’ sake (they’re only little) but the latest woman is someone I know and I can’t take it anymore. Help. Jane
It’s hard to bail when you have a history and kids with someone, but if their behaviour is too much to bear, it shouldn’t be at the expense of your own sanity. Talk to a counsellor about your options, Jane, and draw that line in the sand. There’s a happier life out there for you.
Wearied by what ifs
My girlfriend is constantly asking me hypothetical questions. Would I cheat if I knew I could get away with it? Which out of her friends would I go after if I wasn’t with her? Would I still love her if she got fat? Et-cetera. How can I get her to stop? It’s wearing me down. Jim
Hypothetical questions can help us nut out someone’s character from time to time, but if she’s asking them ALL the time, she’s possibly a bit insecure and compelled to test your loyalties. Reassure her of your feelings, but also let her know that such questions leave you feeling baited into giving the ‘right’ answer, and are starting to put a strain on the time you do spend together. You can also fight fire with fire – for every question, ask one of your own back, eg: ‘OK, your turn: would you still love me if I grew man boobs? Be honest, now.’ Hopefully she’ll see the funny side and lay off!
Splitting the stuff
I just split with my boyfriend of two years and we’re both devastated. The thing is, he told me when he left that he doesn’t want his share of anything. We bought appliances, artworks and furniture together. He doesn’t even want photos! Holly
Just leave it for now – maybe it was a knee-jerk reaction, and he’ll have a change of heart in time. All you can really do is leave the offer open for him to take his share of the stuff when he’s ready.