I have been with my partner for two years. During this time, I have always been the secret girlfriend. His mother doesn’t know about us, his own kids don’t know. When I try and talk about it, it’s always the wrong time.
I just want a man who’ll love me and wants to tell the world. I feel like it’s going nowhere, I feel like a slave and babysitter to his two kids. How can I approach him without resorting to an ultimatum? Sam
Secret girlfriend? After two years? Oh for the love of … no wonder you’re fed up, Sam. There’s no excuse for this man not telling his friends and family that you’re his special lady. No excuse I tell you! Fair enough, you don’t want to set up an ultimatum, but there’s absolutely no way you should be putting up with this situation as it stands.
Even if you’re not usually assertive, gather all your strength and be very firm about what you want and need from him. Tell him in no uncertain terms that you’ve been made to feel like a babysitter, and that you are extremely unhappy with your secret status. You value your relationship, but enough is enough. A line has to be drawn in the sand. It’s time for him to come clean to his mother, kids and all the other important people in his life. He needs to introduce you properly [taking you out for a couple of nice dinners might be in order] and make it crystal clear you are his partner, not his nanny.
If he still refuses to acknowledge you – then perhaps it’s time you starting introducing yourself. His reaction will tell you if you have a future together.
Love, reality chick