Sick of waiting for him to put a ring on it

Sick of waiting for him to put a ring on it
Is it ever a good idea to pressure a guy into proposing? Six months ago I had a gorgeous baby boy with my partner. We’ve been together for over 4 years and are very happy. But he seems in no rush to get on bended knee and make an honest woman out of me. What the…? Out of Wedlock
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Ahhh, that old chestnut. The reluctant proposee. I know plenty of girls who gave up on subtlety and simply resorted to ultimatums – the ring or the road buddy! And sometimes it does work to put a little pressure on. Dig under the surface of your gal-pals’ long-awaited proposals and quite a number of them will have informed their man beforehand it was time for wedding bells to start chiming. Some even go so far as to set a date for the proposal. Writing it on their fridge along with the shopping list and Auntie Jean’s postcard from Venice.

I can see why you’ve held off tightening the screws though. It smarts to have to push and poke a guy for that special question. Sheesh. You’d think after bearing his child and putting up with all his foibles (and every man has them) for years on end, he’d be begging you for happily ever after. But no. The male species can be hesitant (or just downright lazy) when it comes to marriage. In these modern times, who could really blame them for thinking, ‘Hell. I’ve got the girl, the house, the sex on tap and the baby. Why bother with the expensive ring and stuffy party?’ I could go on, and on with this topic. But here’s the thing. I think the time for wishing and hoping, and planning and praying ended the day you squeezed a seven pound baby out of your nether regions.

Sit him down, tell him you want to get hitched and give him 3 months to find a nice way to ask you. If you want an extra sweetener, mention that you don’t need the $15,000 Tiffany ring and you’d be happy with a low key, affordable ceremony. You do want a kickarse honeymoon without the kid however… perhaps to Africa on safari? Then sit back and wait. Hopefully, your boy will be smart enough to think of a sweet, original way to ask you to be his wife. Or even a not so original way. Let’s face it. You deserve it.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

4 Comments

  1. Matt 7 years ago

    Sheesh. You’d think after bearing his child and putting up with all his foibles (and every man has them) for years on end, he’d be begging you for happily ever after.

    First you have very little to go on how the relationship is going…Happily ever after is a myth and any marriage will take work….you will fight, get angry, cry sometimes, just the way life works
    Man or Woman are never entitled to anything just because of societys overall view.

    ‘Hell. I’ve got the girl, the house, the sex on tap and the baby. Why bother with the expensive ring and stuffy party?’

    Whats to say that shes not eatiing it all up too? You are basically saying that she is entitled to marriage just because women love the idea and deserve it because society dictates it. The purppose of marriage is two people promising to stand by eachother unconditionally. She is not deserving of marriage by actions but by her love nothing else. Marriage is for love not the idea that he has too marry now just because they have a child now.

    It was good advice at the end, for her to tell the guy she wants to be married(should add because of love) and thats why she should ask for it, no other reason…

    This just came off as cynical and one sided to me…I think for issues with relationships being gender neutral and treated like equals is important…Pushing gender roles is not appropriate in advice columns, and i want too point out just in case, I do believe men are responsible for children they father, but that wasn’t my main issue here. I suggest you take more care in the future. Thank you!

    • Hot Zone 4 years ago

      I got to disagree with you Matt… You knock up a girl and the girl want a ring to go along with that. If society or whatever think a person should or shouldn’t do something I think you got to do the right thing by the person you are choosing to spend time with. No one put a gun up to his head and told him to put his thing inside of her and knock her up just like no one is telling him that he should be on his second but from what we can see with the fact she providing us is that.

      Going off by gender neutral? Please take the advice you give yourself I mean if I was a girl and given him a child and possibly the best years of my life I would expect some kind of security in a form of marriage or whatever from what she saying he haven’t so much as proposed. People can go back and forward all day who is wrong who is right but whatever at the end of the day someone wants something and they are entitled to that.

      Marriage and relationship the same thing in my eyes anyways you are working together… When you suddenly get married just because you have a million dollar ceremony and polished rings you suddenly change into higher beings… You are still you and she is still her so I don’t get the whole importance of being “locked up” since you are with the person and you should want to provide her with the comfort/security marriage offers.

      Even though it is becoming less and less relevant but that an entirely different topic.

  2. reality chick 11 years ago

    a rocket or a rock? 18 caret diamond of course!

  3. Anonymous 11 years ago

    hear hear, RC. Some blokes need a rocket up their bum!!!!!!!!!

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