Single mum in her 40s seeking decent bloke…

Single mum in her 40s seeking decent bloke…

How does a single mum in her late 40’s meet a decent man to spend the rest of her life with when she works full-time and does all the household stuff on weekends? I’ve tried internet dating and keep meeting fruit-loops: a 33-yr-old who wears nappies, guys who want phone sex only, a man whose child was in hospital in another country and he wanted money to pay the bills so he could come home. I just want someone normal. Is there any such thing? Cuddly Lilly

There is such a thing Lilly. How do I know? Well, here’s the thing. Lean closer, because I need to whisper this in your ear… I happened to meet my boyfriend online ( four years ago. And from the get-go he was nice, funny, polite, very normal (and didn’t wear ladies underwear or like to have his eyeballs licked…well, so far anyway). But to get to my decent guy I had to date a couple of loopy fruits too. Some of them were so odd I barely took the froth off my cappuccino before asking for the bill and getting the hell out of dodge.
My weirdo dates admittedly weren’t quite as bad as your lot … you’ve certainly met some of life’s more challenged dating individuals. But stick with it. Sod the housework, farm the kids out and get dating again. Love is worth a second, third, fourth and fifth try. It’s worth a whole bunch of awful dates when it finally does come along. And it will for you.
I’d also make this suggestion. Get a girl or a guy friend involved whose judgement you trust. Get them to look over the profiles and emails of your possible dates. It always helps to have a second opinion. If you get an icky feeling over the phone before you meet (always speak first) then bail out. If you don’t like them after the first drink or coffee, then bail out. Don’t spend any time on the losers or extortionists of this world when there’s a nice, solid bloke out there who wants to cuddle you right back. Keep us updated! And best of luck out there … we know it’s not easy.
Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


  1. Robert 10 years ago

    It’s a poetry bookclub, actually (i just checked). Haven’t been able to make it myself – just used it to stress that there are things that people can (have to) do in order to break the cycle of loneliness. Listed on

    With regards

  2. Author
    reality chick 10 years ago

    Thanks for that, Robert – great advice! Didn’t know Madame Fling Flong’s had a poetry night – learn something new every day on my own blog 🙂

  3. Robert 10 years ago

    The only advice i can offer is that CL HAS to make time to go out to things that interest her (or, she thinks will interest her). If she likes movies, go out to a good movie house; if she likes theatre, go to the New or the Darlo. Go to art galleries; or Madame Fling-Flongs on poetry reading nights. This is a busy city; & there are cheap things to do. If worst comes to worst, she’ll have a good night out. Best case, she’ll meet men with similar interests. Odds are, a guy taking the risk of going out alone will be a bit better than one staying home talking dirty over the internet

    For the record: spoken for. Met her on myspace of all places; but we hooked up because we quickly found shared interests

    Wish CL luck. Loneliness is becoming the real cancer of modern live


  4. AM_092 10 years ago

    @realitychickaus I’m afraid they’re the only two types of men that are still available!

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