So, I just saw a preview of the movie Hall Pass with my husband of 8 years – the one about two couples who take a break from their marital vows for a week. We have a peaceful, happy marriage and a son so there’s no way we would consider breaking up, but we both agree the sex side of things has gotten stale between us, and the movie got us talking about the possibility of having a week or two off from monogamy to play the field. What’s your advice? Would we be playing with fire? Or could it breathe new life into our relationship? Help! Passed Out
This ‘get out of Jail free’ clause has been going on for hundreds of years. It’s called an open marriage. Whether you give it a time frame or not – it’s about mutually allowing your partner (and vice versa) to explore other sexual relationships outside the marriage.
It seems so simple, so tempting, but is actually loaded with potential problems and issues. Like, how would you feel if your partner got heaps of action during their free week, but you were desperate and dateless and struck out with nary a kiss on the cheek? How would you feel knowing your partner might be picking up an STD or even getting another woman accidentally pregnant, even if they did practise safe sex? (Condoms break, peeps, and no contraception is 100 percent effective.)
Plus, would you be OK about your love-making skills being compared to a new 2.0 version? What if one or both of you didn’t want to go back to the way things were and were happy to keep exploring greener pastures? Eeek. It’s enough to make a couple renew their vows, not break them. My advice to you: daydream about it, talk about it, make it a saucy fantasy but don’t go there unless you are fully prepared for the consequences. If you do think your marriage is strong enough not to break down due to jealousy or comparison, then by all means, explore. But I think if it looks like Pandora’s Box – don’t open it. Find other ways to breathe new life into your relationship – like booking into a spa suite for a night of dirty hijinks, exploring some xrated literature together or getting a couples massage.
Love, reality chick
~ Tell us! Is giving your partner a one week ‘Hall Pass’ a recipe for disaster? Would you want one yourself?