SP: 5 big fat myths about sex toys

SP: 5 big fat myths about sex toys

sex toy myths2

This post is kindly brought to you by Naughty But Nice.

Although a huge proportion of us own sex toys (and some of us cannot be trusted with a credit card and an online adult store… ahem), many myths still prevail about these gadgets of pleasure. So, allow me to debunk a few of the more common ones, for the vibe lovers among you. You’re welcome.

Myth #1. Sex toys can cause numbness

According to Indiana University’s national vibrator study, a whopping 83.5 percent of women who used vibrators never experienced any lack of sensitivity or genital numbness afterwards. That left 16.5 percent – who said they’d experienced numbness once or twice but it lasted briefly. If it happens to you, maybe try lower-intensity settings, take a break between orgasms, use lubricant or put a soft towel between the vibe and your clitoris. If it happens a lot and worries you, there may be other things to check out healthwise so definitely see your GP.

Myth #2. Sex toys make it harder to orgasm with a partner

Sex toys are like a super-highway to stimulation. They’re mechanical. It stands to reason that someone’s fingers or tongue won’t physically be able to provide thousands of vibrations per minute that a sex toy possibly can. So while a vibrator might get you there quicker, it doesn’t mean you can’t get there via other means, it just might take longer and require more effort. I’m also no sexpert but I suspect, if you can’t come unless you’re using a vibrator (when you used to be able to), you may be a wee bit addicted to your silicone friend – physically and psychologically. If your thoughts are along the lines of, ‘Oh jesus, my Hitachi Magic Wand is the only way I can come’ you’re reinforcing that possibly false belief and it will make it harder to get to Orgasm Town with your partner. If that’s happening, no harm in taking a vibrator detox every so often and letting your body get used to other paths to pleasure.

Myth #3. You shouldn’t need a vibrator if you’re in a long-term relationship

Sorry, wha…? No, no, no. Sex and desire can be up and down in long-term relationships and toys, erotica and general experimentation should be all part of the fun in keeping things hot. Researchers at the University of Indiana support this, revealing that married women are way more likely to own vibrators (50 percent) than single women (29 percent). And if you’re worried he’ll be intimidated by your sex toy drawer, don’t – reassuringly, the US study found that 63 percent of women and 70 percent of men aged 18-60 felt that a woman’s vibrator use was A-OK. It’s just silly to get jealous of a silicone tool that can’t ever replace the awesome parts of sex like kissing, cuddling and touching. And it sure as heck can’t bring you a post-coital cup of tea either.

Myth #4. Sex toys can injure you.

Okay, so we’ve all heard about people rocking up to Emergency with a gerbil stuck up their butt. So you heard it here first, people: don’t use gerbils (or any other furry creatures) as sex toys. Ditto light bulbs (which can break and be quite serious), beer bottles and stuff like batteries. Very dangerous. But in terms of purpose-built, phthalate-free sex toys with soft rounded edges – you’re far less likely to sustain an injury. If by chance you do get a small sex toy lost in an orifice and can’t get it out, don’t try to remove it yourself – just head to Emergency. They’ve seen it all, and asking doctors to remove a lost sex toy  is probably far less embarrassing than asking them to remove a lost gerbil.

Myth #5. If you need sex toys to orgasm, there’s something wrong with you.

Also false. Firstly, some women – 25 percent, it’s estimated – have major trouble hitting the Big O. And vibrators can not only reveal what works for you in the downstairs region, but help you hit that Big O more often. Truly, sexperts prescribe vibrator use in order to teach women how their bodies work and how to have orgasms. Secondly, some women need super intense stimulation to come, making vibrators a great tool for couples. Needless to say, you shouldn’t feel shy about telling your partner what you love and need in bed (even if it’s a vibrator). A decent partner should want to do whatever it takes to help you see stars!

Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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