Those of you who follow us on Twitter and Facebook may have heard that we received a package last week. A rather chunky package, full to the brim of naughtiness from Pure Romance. If you’re seriously over Tupperware parties (and let’s face it, it’s just sad to be turned on by an organised pantry), a Pure Romance shindig could be the ticket for you and your gal pals. Or, you could just keep your inner minx under wraps and order from the online store. Here’s a taste of what we tried.
Oh, and to win a Pure Romance prize pack, go to the Pure Romance facebook page and answer the question about your favourite toy in the bedroom!
Love, love, love this little baby. It’s quiet, it’s discreet, it’s handbag-sized small … but it packs a punch. If you’re used to vibes with internal batteries, the battery pack/cord is a bit annoying at first, but shoved under a pillow you’ll soon forget it’s even there. If this is what they mean when they say, ‘You need a bullet’ they are absolutely right. $20.
I’d never used an ‘enhancement cream’ before, and reading the ingredients (menthol, blah blah) I worried that this might be a bit like Dencorub in all the wrong places. How wrong I was. It tingles! It tickles! It’s like a turbo charge to whatever or whomever you happen to be doing. Try it yourself and you may find it more than earns its keep in your naughty kit. $30.
If you want to skip right to dessert (and what girl doesn’t?) then a smear of this lubricant (in seductive chocolate cheesecake flavour) will satisfy a sweet tooth. It tastes like the love child of lip balm, petroleum jelly and chocolate syrup topping and has a pleasing mouth feel (if a slightly plastic aftertaste). It’s more suited to your blokes’ bits and be warned: you’ll smell like a block of Cadbury dairy milk for hours after applying. Like that’s a bad thing. $20.
Hello, girl’s night in for one. This chunky, comfy-to-hold bedroom toy is guaranteed to keep you busy for hours with eight send-you-to-the-moon-and-back speeds and a ribbed bit on the end perfect for clitoral or g-spot action. This reviewer’s only complaint is that it’s a tad louder than the bullets. Sharehouse peeps putting up with paper-thin walls beware. Even if you’re coupled up and trying to have a party for one in the bedroom with your Tickled Pink while your bloke finishes off watching Family Guy, prepare for him to yell, ‘What the hell is that vibrating noise? Can you hear that?’ Ahem. $65.
If talcum powder and bronzer were blended with vanilla Nesquick this would be the result. A shimmering, lickable vanilla-flavoured power which dusts onto the skin and can be hoovered off by any enthusiastic parties. It tastes pretty good, and looks pretty good – a good combination in the boudoir. One technical hitch: it did take this reviewer a long while to figure out there’s a red plug that needs to be removed before the powder will release from the brush. $29.
This shaving cream is unisex – so it wouldn’t be out of place in a boys’ locker room. Apparently it smells like Acai Berry, but not ever having tasted that particular fruit, I can only take their word for it. What I can say is this cream is silky, smells nice and let’s a blade run freely wherever you might want it to travel. And like they say, there are no rashes. Except maybe heat rash when your paramour runs his or her hands over your newly fuzz-free zones. $16.
Okay, I’ll admit I wondered exactly where the silver bullet part of this vibrator was meant to go. Lucky I looked up some finer details on the Pure Romance website and discovered it’s designed for the clitoris. Good to know. Onto the seven speeds, of which five resemble a jet engine taking off and two are moderate. Perhaps some people enjoy this style of industrial strength vibrator, but it would’ve been good to have a dimmer switch to tone down some of that power. $40.