UP THE DUFF Week 16: Let’s talk about boobs.

UP THE DUFF Week 16: Let’s talk about boobs.

up the duff wed week 16

So, Mr Chick and I are finally having a baby. We tried for a pretty long time, and we’re super chuffed about our little one’s arrival in August. What will he or she be like? What will WE be like? Will my boobs ever return to their normal size again?

Seriously though, while I am completely stoked about becoming a mama, this pregnancy thing has been a rollercoaster of epic proportions. Starting with my knockers. 

I had hoped that already being chunky up top would give my boobs an excuse to take a breather. They’d quietly realise they had enough to go on with and maintain their relatively neat and tidy Double-D status quo throughout the pregnancy.

I was obviously completely delusional because four months in, my boobs are busting out all over the shop. It’s only with military precision that I manage to strap these puppies down in a bra each morning. And, after 40-odd years of being the same bra size I’m having to buy new boulder-holders almost weekly. My girls are growing so fast I bought a bra on Friday and it was TOO SMALL by Monday. That’s right. I have boobs capable of growing a cup size OVER THE WEEKEND. That can’t be normal.

Like an idiot, last week I asked Mr Chick in a slightly desperate voice if he thought they would ever stop growing. He smirked and said he sincerely hoped not. Which was not helpful.

I know mums who weren’t that well-endowed beforehand probably think I’m a whinger and I should being embracing my giant chesticles but seriously? By the time my milk comes in my mammaries will be bigger than my head. There may not be a bra out there to contain them. But what the hell – I will rock my massive boobs with a smile if it means a pudgy, happy and healthy bubba.

horseyRC mamas, I’d love your input. As a first timer I’m in the dark here, so are there any big-breasted gals out there who can offer me a shred of hope? Will my knockers stop growing anytime soon? How did pregnancy affect your funbags? Help.

Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

8 Comments

  1. Lola 4 years ago

    Wow, great news!!! Congrats on the new arrival! 🙂
    Only today I happened to notice that the “Up The Duff Stuff” series was about Ms Reality Chick herself. That’s me these days… My head is all over the place :-\
    As far as boobs are concerned, mine were already big before I got pregnant, and the first sign that ‘something’ was going on was my larger and tender bosom. My periods had always been all over the place, so a late period meant nothing in my case.
    And they—the ‘chesticles’, loved the word!—grew and grew! And after childbirth and breastfeeding for only a couple of months, they shrank and shrank! Can’t really talk about sizes, because in those days there were no A, B C or DD cups back home. But to give you an idea, I ended my pregnancy having to wear bras that were a couple of sizes larger…

  2. juzzy 4 years ago

    Well I too started pregnancy life already having large ‘boobies’ and like you the damn things kept growing. And yes my Mr Chick was happy also happy about it. Bra shopping is a total nightmare, and I’m pretty sure I ended up in maternity bras very early on because they were the most comfy. But embrace it my dear because it means your body is getting ready for a truly wonderful thing.

  3. Ali 4 years ago

    So happy for you Rachel, congratulations! Wishing you a lovely and healthy pregnancy.

    I’ve never been pregnant, but I live with size G breasts everyday so I feel ya!

  4. Congrats Rachel – that’s awesome news. Now, re the bazookas … I can only speak of one’s experience packing medium-sized cans here, but they did get pretty big and weird looking, especially once the baby was here and needed feeding, but then they went back to normal pretty much. So thrilled for you! xx

  5. wacky 4 years ago

    My mammaries travelled down the alphabet too…it’s rather alarming at first, but it all plateaus down the track. When the milk comes in you won’t recognise them for a day or two, but again, it all settles quite quickly. It’s pretty impressive what the body can do!

  6. Thrilled, thrilled, thrilled for you. You boobs will never be the same again but who cares it is sooo worth it.

    • Author

      Thanks Emma, Wacky and Belinda. I actually still can’t believe I wrote an entire post about my breasts. But, they are demanding attention these days – ha!

      Next week I think I may revisit my version of the pregnancy Hunger Games… stay tuned for that 🙂

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