I’m writing this to you from my hotel room in the city, where I am hiding while a group of builders smash through our house to create a bigger kitchen, a better study, French doors to the back yard and basically a space in which two people can comfortably walk through doorways without having to apologise or stand back because only one of them can fit (which is how our cute but impractical home operates currently).
It’s not like we have another fully-grown adult moving in or anything, but a baby does weird things to a woman. The closer you get to B Day, the more you become obsessed by space, and the lack of it. Can’t swing a cat in your kitchen? Time for a new kitchen. (This week.) No storage? Hey, let’s convert the attic and add a pull down ladder! (That was last week.)
I suspect my nearest and dearest look at me and mutter, Obi Wan Kenobi-like, ‘The nesting instinct is strong with this one.’ And it’s true; I don’t care what anyone thinks or says (and most of the comments are along the lines of, ‘Cutting a bit fine aren’t you?’). Two other mums-to-be I know are also madly renovating, and one is due in THREE WEEKS. She’s basically living in a bomb site.
Men don’t seem to have this same instinct. Mr Chick could’ve, at any point, said it’s a) too hard, b) too expensive and c) too ridiculous to renovate so close to the baby arriving, and all of that would’ve been absolutely true and valid. But, he hasn’t – probably because he knows The Nesting is bigger than both of us and my response would be, ‘Sorry bud, but it’s happening whether you like it or not.’
Of course, that won’t be the end of it. We somehow have to paint and create a nursery in the next 13 weeks, too – and I’ll probably also be one of those women who gets down on her hands and knees in the eighth month to scrub the skirting boards and stick a wet toothbrush into any dusty corners to ensure the house is super clean. What may seem crazy to others, seems perfectly reasonable to me. And, apparently being on all fours encourages the baby to get into a better position for labour, which is an added bonus. Cleaning AND labour preparation! I’ve got it sussed, people.