We had an awful fight and he left. How can I change his mind?

We had an awful fight and he left. How can I change his mind?
We had an awful fight and he left. How can I change his mind?

Hi RC! Tonight the guy I’ve been seeing for a month dumped me. It was a shot out of the blue. In the past month we had grown so close, I developed such huge feelings for him. He met my daughter and formed a bond with her. We have had a few arguments, and a pretty bad one this morning. Instead of trying to work it out, he has left me like I’m nothing. I know I should walk away, but I can’t. My heart aches for him, and I don’t want to give up on a reconciliation. What can I do to make him realize we were amazing together and that we can still build a future? I’m so devastated :'( Jade

Aww, bugger. Sometimes there’s nothing crueller than things going ‘splat’ when you’re in the honeymoon period of a hot new relationship. It’s also sad if he’s developed a bond with your kid only to disappear from her life.

If it were me, I’d let the dust settle for a few days, then go and see him. Face to face, you’ll have a much better idea of where things lie than on the phone or via text, which is ripe for misunderstandings. Don’t grovel, but be prepared to put your heart on the line. Tell him that while you could probably both do with some anger management training (hey, a little humour never hurts), it breaks your heart to think of what you had being over, and to walk away from what could be a potentially really happy future together.  Hopefully from his answers, and his body language, you’ll sus out where he’s at, too.

If he can’t give you an answer or says he’s not sure, leave it. Just be gracious and loving and tell him if he wants to talk, he knows where to find you. Then go. Put it in a box, and get on with your life.

I hope for your sake you get the outcome you’re hoping for, Jade.

Love, reality chick

Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

1 Comment

  1. DB 6 years ago

    Personally I wouldn’t be chasing him or trying to reconcile, if a month in you’re having fights so ‘bad’ that he washes his hands of the whole relationship… isn’t this meant to be the honeymoon period?

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