Why am I so scared of being in a relationship?

Why am I so scared of being in a relationship?

Why am I so scared of being in a relationship?

I have found that even before I start dating a guy I freak out. Just the thought of being in a relationship at all scares me. Recently the guy I like told me how he felt and asked me if I wanted to be in a long distance relationship (we live 1500 miles apart) and as soon as everything got real I started to freak out and I don’t know why.

I’m still in high school and the thought of telling my parents about this makes me want to puke. I have no idea what to do! Please can you give me some answers as to why I might feel like this and what I should do? Alexa

Dating is scary, no matter whether you’re 16 or 64. But when you’re a teenager, particularly so. Reading about how sexually advanced teens are these days compared to my high school days freaks ME out, but then, we didn’t have Facebook or smartphones or Snapchat or the pressure to get a Brazilian because porn-loving teenage boys expected it.

You’re new to all this Alexa, and maybe your nervousness stems from expectations – yours and his. TOTALLY normal. It’ll change as you get older, I promise you. Instead of feeling freaked out by relationships, you’ll want one desperately. You’ll find yourself confused and confuddled and smitten over men in general. You’ll lust after them and hate them and cry over them and fall madly in love with them and write them really bad teenage angst poetry. You’ve got all that ahead of you. Don’t rush it if you’re not ready for it. Don’t allow yourself to be led into situations you’re uncomfortable with, physically or otherwise. It’s not worth the icky feelings or the possible regrets.

As for sharing with your parents – well, I’m sure they’d love to know where your head’s at and offer some advice (they were your age once too!). But, you don’t have to talk to them about this unless you want to. Right now, I’d just chill on the dating side of things. Spend time with your gal pals and enjoy meeting lots of people rather than getting serious with just one person. When you meet the right guy and you’re really ready for it, you’ll want to dive into a relationship without a second thought.

Love, reality chick

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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).


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