Will my cheating boyfriend ever change?

Will my cheating boyfriend ever change?

My boyfriend has cheated on me numerous times and I can’t trust him. Everytime he does it I end up forgiving him because I love him so much. But now I have found out he’s been talking to this girl he has cheated on me with – what do I do? I love him so much I can’t let him go, but at the same time I want him to change. Will he or won’t he? Loz

Sorry Loz, but I suspect he won’t be reforming in a hurry. Studies have shown that past behaviour is a good indicator of future behaviour, and from where I’m sitting your guy doesn’t seem to be a) remorseful or b) keen to mend his ways – if anything, his continual cheating when he must realise how much it hurts you shows not just a lack of respect but a downright contempt for you and your feelings.

Many people will read your question and wonder why you love a guy like this who treats you so very badly. And they’d be right. I know where you’re at; it sucks to love someone so much you simply accept everything about them – even if you hate it – because you’d rather do that than live without them in your life. I think it’s also very hard to logically and rationally analyse a bad relationship from within because we’re too good at excusing things and sweeping them under the metaphorical rug because we love someone / we hope they’ll change / we’re desperate to maintain stability / we don’t want to rock the boat. But the time has come, Loz, to not only rock the boat, but bail out of it for good. The trust is gone – you said it yourself. So take the leap.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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