Will this no-hoper boyfriend of mine ever change?

Will this no-hoper boyfriend of mine ever change?

After 4 years of crappy first dates I finally met a man I clicked with. I fell for him hard and quick. He told me he was down on his luck at the moment financially. Living at his boss’s house, without a car, or phone. To help him save up $$ I moved him in. The first month was great, he cooked, cleaned, and told me how appreciative he was. Then I noticed all his money goes on weed or booze. With the remainder he will eat, or buy the occasional new shirt.

He has stopped cooking, and the only way he helps out with cleaning is if I guilt him into it. On top of this I have noticed that he drinks a lot and after a few feels the need to hash out our problems with me, no matter what. Even if it’s 4am he will wake me up to get in a fight with me. When he drinks he says that I need to admit that ‘I don’t like him’ and that I need to ‘get off his back about riding him about every little thing’. Will the sweet guy from month one ever come back? Am I just kidding myself into enabling an alcoholic and drug user? Will he ever stand on his own feet financially? Martha

Martha, Martha, Martha. What were you THINKING moving some dude you barely knew into your house after a month? A guy who didn’t have his shit together, had no phone, money or car, and who was living with his BOSS. That must’ve been some four-year drought, girlfriend. I’m guessing the sex was flipping amazing.

But, let’s cut the crap: you KNOW he’s not going to turn around and become Mr Perfect. You know that was all an act, right? He did his little Martha Stewart routine to weasel his way into your life and your home and now he’s showing his true colours. At 4am, no less. So not only are you supporting this idiot, you’re also having your sleep disrupted whenever he gets drunk and feels like an argument.

You need to get this no-hoper, weed-smoking, borderline alcoholic sponger excuse for a boyfriend out of your house. Get some burly mates to help if necessary and change the locks. Thankfully, he doesn’t have a phone so he can’t annoy you with texts or rude voicemails. And let this be a lesson to you to wait a year before moving in with someone. At least.

Love, reality chick


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Freelance journo, blogger, self-appointed advice-giver and co-author of Get Lucky. If you've got a dating or relationship issue, feel free to ask a question. (PS. You can also find me at The Mama Files and Letter To My Ex).

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